Anything but.

I return to Wii Party U again to hopefully finish my 2nd stint of Master Difficulty. Last time I got so close yet so far. Tonight, would I have the same luck?

The first minigame was "Freeze!". Which I easily conquered. My reticle was probably 3 pixels from the center of the target. And I got a 43 on my first roll! Not bad! "Countdown Crisis" was the next minigame. While I got past the first round, in the 2nd round, I passed the bomb a tad too early. And I blew up. At least Jianjun got last. I'm sure he wouldn't do any better in this game. Yuehua lands on a 1v3 and we play "Punch Dunk". Don't get punched. Easy. But not for me. And of course with one fucking second left in the game. Rie gets punched in the face and we lose the 1v3. On my 3rd place roll, I row a 17 but it's more of a 7 since I landed on a minus 10 spaces spot. "Alley Hoops" was next. This should be easy. I was doing Wii Sports Resort 3 point contest not too long ago. I tied for first and won the roll off! I roll a 38, and naturally I UFO Jianjun to me. You're so not welcome. Yuehua lands on a last place boost. And Me, Jianjun, and Yuehua are all in last so we get boosted 30 spaces. But to me it was more like 12 because on the 1-3-5 challenge door, I roll a 4 so I couldn't move any further. Amazing. But Yuehua gets it so she and Jianjun could go the full 30. Cool.

And then Rie gets boosted by Jianjun so now I'm in last place. "Mii Vaulters" was next. AKA, a very unfair mini game for Master Difficulty. While I got 150 yards, everyone else went further than me. So I got last. At least I got last place boosted. And then I boosted myself. So I went like 38 spaces that whole round. Not bad! "Cliff Riders" was next up. I admit, I played so damn careful and I actually got damn close to the end. Of course I fell off at the last second. But got 2nd overall. My roll was bad but bad enough that it was good and I got rocketed. I needed that. And on Jianjun's roll lands on 1v3... uh oh. Surely we could beat him in "Penalty-Kill Challenge" right? Nope. And of course I was the one to lose it for the team? Who's surprised? "Heart Targets" was the next minigame. Oh boy time to concentrate to all hell. And concentrate... I didn't really do. But I got 3rd. But I needed a shit load of catching up to do. And now here comes the point where the Miis start selecting the minigames. And Yuehua picks "Sitting Pretty". Another hard ass game for Master difficulty. And I prove that after failing to get on a seat in the first 2 rounds. I did get the 3 point round. But I lost the roll off and got 4th.

Yuehua selects "Pogo Battle". Oh boy. This was hold your breath. And I didn't do too bad. Kind of choked the end but still got 2nd. On my roll, I land on a 1v3 and get "Zig-Zaggurat". Crush the Miis with the giant blocks. It was ticking down to the final seconds but I actually squashed them and won the minigame. I won a 1v3 as the 1 on master difficulty? In this economy? That got me really close to the final challenge. Maybe I could get there. But of course Jianjun landed on a 1v3. Welp. A free win for him... NOT! Yeah that's right. We are professional diamond sniffers! Now I just needed a good minigame and place good on it... Yuehue selects "Match Mii"... I got 4th... Rie UFO's Yuehua to her... Yuehua gets to the final challenge... she got 41... she won the game... FUCK! Welp... time to restart the game. We started with "Token Drop". Despite me starting with 10 points, I actually won the game overall with 170. I rolled a 38 and landed on a plus 20. 58 overall my first roll. Not too bad! And then Rie rolls like a 34 which is 4 less than my roll with 3 less dice. And also lands on plus 20. Jianjun lands on 5 extra dice. And Yuehua lands on plus 20. So we all got a boost our first round.

"Safe Landings" was the next minigame. And I shit you not, I landed on the platform with POINT TWO SECONDS LEFT! You could not ask me to do that again if I wanted to. My roll is a 27 which is... not good. And I boost JIANJUN... oh... no it's Yuehua. Jianjun does get a 30 space boost later on though. "Pose Pros" was the next minigame. While I didn't do great in the middle rounds, thankfully I still had enough points overall to get first overall. My roll is a 41 but call it more like 15 because I fail the fucking 1-3-5 door challenge again. Dammit! Shockingly, so does Jianjun. "Speed of Sight" was the next minigame. Admittedly, I cheated here. I still got the 2nd one wrong but still won overall. Did I get the 1-3-5 door this time? NO OF COURSE NOT! But Jianjun does! Shocking! This time, I am part of the 3 on "Zig-Zuggurat" after Yuehua landed on the 1v3. Do we win? Yeah we do. "River Rollin'" is the next mini game. And the logs were absolutely not in my favor. I got 3rd and ended my 1st place streak. At this point, Jianjun... of all fucking Miis had a heavy lead. Which wasn't good. And I needed to start catching up. Because I was in like... last.

Rie lands on another 1v3... we are having a shit load of 1v3s here. "Blast Panels" was the mini game to play. Surely this would be a cakewalk... if my brain didn't combust on this game as I thought one of my panels was completely fucking broken and I thought I couldn't connect my line. So yeah that loss was on me... sorry team. "Safari Hustle" was next up. And I really wanted to study the animals. I picked Zebra. Which I heavily regretted because that piece of shit was slow as... a piece of shit. At least I got to last place boost myself 20 spaces. "Fruit or Scare" was next up. Despite me studying where the loaded boxes were, I tied for 3rd and lost the fucking roll off. Amazing. This is the complete opposite of catching up. After getting a matching bonus, I land on a 1v3. "Penalty-Kick Challenge". Now usually when I play a minigame, rule number one, check the controls. I do that every time. But for some... FUCKING reason... I decide... not to check the controls and... well I spend the time trying to figure out how to block a damn kick while these fuckers are making kicks because I am just standing there in the fucking middle like a sore thumb. I think my brain literally combusted.

Surprisingly, I didn't even get to pick the next minigame. Yuehua picks "Space Zappers". And apparently these dudes just know where the aliens are. I mean I got 2nd but... shocker... Jianjun got 1st. I think Party Phil has a crush on Jianjun. Oh and guess what? He lands on a 1v3. "Operation: Sandbox" is the game. I get a few hits on him before apparently I just run myself into him. And then Rie just spins there acting drunk all of a sudden and Jianjun to nobody's surprise wins the 1v3. At this point his lead is so astronomically huge, it's not fucking funny. I would need a miracle to catch up to him. Yuehua picks "Balance Broncos". OF COURSE SHE DOES! Guess what? I lose. Naturally. These master Miis just hate me apparently. I tell you, Master difficulty on Wii Party is NOWHERE near as hard as Master difficulty on Wii Party U. Rie lands on a 1v3 and gets "Tube Tosser". I can't have Jianjun getting to the end so I sacrifice myself and sabotage the others so Rie could win. Not like it mattered, he still got to the final challenge on his 3rd place roll. And was ONE short of getting 40. Oh how I've been there before.

This time I could pick the minigame and I pick "No Goals Barred". It sounded like the most doable of my choices. Turns out it was probably the least doable. I got 3rd. At least Jianjun got last. Rie was one short of 35 so she missed the final challenge. Yuehua was like... 42 spaces away so she couldn't get to the final challenge. I rolled a 15 and got a 10 extra dice space which gave me 26 more spaces which... wasn't great but it's 41 total spaces. Jianjun was 16 away and had only 2 dice. All I needed was for him to not-annnnnd he got doubles. Wow I totally bet Party Phil didn't just rig those fucking dice for him at that exact fucking moment. And I AM TOTALLY SURE HE DIDN'T RIG THE TEN FINAL DICE TO GIVE HIM EXACTLY THIRTY-FIVE! LETTING THIS BITCH WIN AGAIN!... sigh... so yeah... I lose. Again. So... I'll be playing this AGAIN. yaaaaay. And I did worse this time. My first go at 2nd stint master, I actually made it to the final challenge. I didn't even touch the final challenge this time on this stream. Now I could not play Jianjun next time I do this. But he's my mortal fucking enemy. And I want to shove it down his damn stupid face when I destroy his cheating ass and stop any wedding between that fucker and Party Phil.