Fix your damn servers.

I'm back for another round of Ranked in Fall Guys! Thankfully even in ranked, it's not that bad. But that's just from my experience. After all, I'm nothing more than a small rookie.

In my first game, my first level is Rebound Run. A level that utilizes bumpy platforms, speed boosts, and conveyor belts. I did take a couple of falls but thankfully it's a race level anyway. Unfortunately this match came to an end in Hyperdrive Heroes. Despite me being careful and cautious, I thought I could sneak past a ground yeetus but... clearly I couldn't. So... onto a new game. Starting with a Fall Guys classic in Short Circuit. Just how I remember it. Simple level but the space aesthetic is what makes it so fun. Plus it's an OG level. Another OG in The Swiveller. Objective, don't be dumb and you're fine. And I sure wasn't dumb. Jump Club was next. Was definitely getting a lot more OG levels here. Jump Club was no sweat. The final round was Blunder Blocks. But not really. I got disconnected before the final round could begin. Okay for fucks sake it's 2025, the game is practically owned by Epic Games and we're still having server issues here? Goodness.

Welp no choice but to start fresh with Big Fans. Yep. Those fans are still big. Bubbling Brook was next. I have a love/hate relationship with this level. Mostly because you could potentially respawn a lot and get little points. Or if you're careful, you can sweep through easily. I did something... in between those two. Thankfully I got the 75 points off just in time and advanced. Slime Saloon was next. I've played this before. This should be easy! Well despite me getting front row advantage, I fell behind and was not one of the 8 players to go on. Oh and also despite me clearly clicking exit, I had to sit and wait through for the next round. Which I still think it's bullshit. If you're out, you shouldn't have to wait for the next round to start. Eventually I was able to start a new game. Which started on Big Fans again! Didn't do as well as last time but I still qualified. And got disconnected again. Like seriously this is not getting funny anymore.

So on to yet another new game. Starting with Track Attack. Personally one of my favorite levels as I breeze through the level easily. Yeah I got that speedrun route in my mind memorized to the core. Next up was Slime Saloon again. Thankfully I qualified this time. Especially thanks to the fact that more people could qual this time. Skyline Stumble was next. Being very familiar with this level, I easily trotted my way to first place! Circle O' Slime is the final round and thankfully I could play it this time. I actually did pretty damn well and survived for a while. Until this... taco dude pushed me into the slime. Then really thought it was funny to laugh it off afterward. Yeah congrats dude. You won as a rookie. We're all so proud of you. Starting from scratch again with... Big Fans again. Wow that's like the 3rd time I got Big Fans. And the 3rd time I qualified on Big Fans. Jump Club was next. I qualified. Skyline Stumble was next. I qualified. Trick or Trapeze was the final round. I'm not entirely sure if I played this one before. I didn't do so great. Hell I didn't even make it far into the level before it was over. And it was the same fucking taco dude who won. Great. Now I have an enemy.

To start my next game, Mind The Gap was the first level. Not Big Fans. Shocking. Just a simple make it across the level... level. That has a slime pit and uses those weak blocks too. But even with thin platforms, it was no match for me as I easily got 1st! Back to Slime Saloon. Yes I qualified. Top of the trash was the next level. I remember playing this before. And I knew what to do. Stay in the glowing box and collect the 30 points. I started off hot. But then fell off at 18 points. Got back on but fell off quickly at 20 points. By the time I got back on, it was too little too late and I was eliminated. Sadge. Track Attack started my next game. I didn't do as cleanly but I still qualified. Easily qualified on The Swiveller. Even got 1st place on Clumsy Crusade! A spoopy Halloween themed level with trapeze ropes, bumpers, spinners, swinging balls, axes, conveyor belts, all the works. Blunder Blocks was the final round and thank fuck I got to play it this time. Surprisingly, only 3 of us qualified for the final... out of a possible 8. Yikes.

This definitely had a block party kind of feel. Jump your way through the gaps and don't get caught your into the slime you go. I shit you not I was near elimination when I did get stuck and I couldn't see where I was. I have no damn clue how I didn't get eliminated. Along with that, I won too. Hey, I'll take it. If the game says I won, then I have no reason not to believe it! And I ended the stream here on a high note. A ranked win!

And hey, I did it without dealing with any tacos either!