There is no prophecy.

I returned to my 2nd stint of Wii Party U to conquer Master difficulty once more. I did it my first try in my 2nd stint of Wii Party and I did beat Expert my first try in my 2nd stint of Wii Party U. So this would be a breeze! Little did I know... it really wouldn't.

Already I was getting tough minigames like Close Knit which I got 3rd by like 1 fucking inch. And Lap Happy. Which is impossible to get anything but 4th in Master difficulty. Although I did realize I am a master bird photographer as I got 1st place in Shutterbird! And then it was back to a last place finish in Twisted Flight. Polly gave me a last place boost with 20 free spaces! Jianjun would give us the first of many... many torturous 1v3 minigames. Perilous Pathways being the first one. And because the game loves me so much, I died on the first fucking tile I stepped on. And we lost the 1v3... there will soon be a pattern to come here.

I ruled in Cage Chomp. My sharp eyes landed me on a +2 card every time and I easily got 1st place. Cue another 1v3 battle. With Jianjun being the one. Again. Spiked-Ball Brawl this time. In not even half the time, my teammates went out so it was on me. I did juke Jianjun for a bit but got trapped. And lost... again. Recipe Recall was next. Where we have to memorize the vegetables that go in the pot. I did end up memorizing them slightly wrong but thankfully I was still able to... tie for first fucking place. So after all my hard work it came down to a roll off. To which I got 3rd in. Snap Judgement was next. I actually did pretty good on that game. Though I did slip up on round 5. But then got all the other rounds. And got 2nd overall after the roll off.

Polly gets the red light/green light door the first try so no worries there. And thanks to her hard work, she got a minus ten dice and had to go back 45 spaces. Ouch. I then myself landed on a 1v3. Blast Panels was the minigame. Of course I went a tad bit slow on my first panel so that gave the Miis a chance to crush my bones since they all solved their panels in 3 seconds. Of course when I am not on the team, then the Miis actually act like they're masters. So guess what? I lost the 1v3. Jianjun was ironically in last place so he picked Mad Hatters. A basically all luck game. I got one point... but that was it. But it tied me for 2nd and I won the roll off.

At this point I was actually on pace with the others. Which was nice but also not because... well it was close. Jianjun landed on ANOTHER 1v3. UFO Zap-Up was the game this time. Now I watch Poofesure so all I know is that I had to go back and forth. Of course because I was on the 3, my teammates went back to full stupid so it was all on me. My back and forth strategy worked for like... 3 seconds before Jianjun suddenly went smart and got abducted me. SO I LOST THE FUCKING ONE VERSUS THREE MINIGAME!

R/C Drifters was the next minigame which thankfully was skill based. And my run was flawless. I got 10 and everyone else got 9. And then on my 38 roll I landed on a minus 10 spaces spot so it was really a 28 roll. And Araceli lands on a positive times ten dice and gets 48. Power Prisms was next. AKA, Pac-Man ripoff. I didn't think I did too bad. But apparently Araceli also didn't do too bad. Thankfully I still got 2nd. But because Araceli got 1st, she got a crack at the final door. Thankfully she didn't get the 40 to win. But now you only need a 35 to cross.

Jianjun was in last place overall again and picked Ice Spinners. Not a great minigame to play. I did get 27 points during the initial spin which actually was the most of everyone. But because I was facing away, I lost and got 4th place overall. Not what I wanted in that situation. Araceli got 2nd so she got a 2nd crack at the door which you now only needed 35... she didn't get it. She was 2 short. This time Polly lands on a 1v3. Ninja Scramble was the minigame. I assumed I would lose but shockingly... maybe because Jianjun was on my team... we actually won! Hmm... this game couldn't possibly have any bias could it? Nah that's not possible.

Not too much long later, I landed on a 1v3. U Can't Catch Mii was the game. And... well I got caught in 6 seconds because the Miis just knew where I was. IT'S LIKE THEY'RE COMPUTERS AND THIS GAME HAS A FUCKING BIAS FOR JIANJUN AND MAKES SURE HE WINS EVERY SINGLE MOTHERFUCKING ONE VERSUS THREE MINIGAME! ahem... anyways... I was in last place overall this time and I picked Snow Shredders since... well quite frankly it was the easiest of my choices. For this I had to concentrate HARD! I did get 10 points on every ramp except 1 where I got 7. And I got the full 20 on the last ramp. Which tied me for first. And shocker I lose the roll off. But... Araceli came in last overall.

Polly did get to the final door to take a crack at it. She definitely did not get 35. She got 31. I was 26 away from the final door. And on my roll I got... 25... one short... yay... JianJun gives Polly a boost to the final door to let her have another shot at it. Thankfully SHE didn't get it. She got 26. Even less than her last attempt! Then Araceli gets a shot at the door! SHE DIDN'T GET IT! SHE GOT 33! There was no way this was happening. It is literally like last time where everyone couldn't get the final door. Polly got to pick the next game and she picks Ramped Up. Advice... where the demo Mii goes is basically irrelevant. I paid more closer attention to where the others were going. Closer to the top. Araceli somehow doesn't fall off despite her board being over the edge. But I still got 2nd.

But because Araceli got 1st... she got another crack at the door! She... didn't get it... huh... so now I get a crack at the door. Which could be my one and only chance. My roll was solid. It was also 34. One short of the goal. JianJun gets a crack at the door! He didn't get it! This was not happening! Symmetrical Suits was the next minigame. I don't know if you could tell but my hand was actually shaking. I needed to win this. Because I was nervous, I did slip up on a few ones but I did tie... for first... again. I was not feeling good... but... I won the roll off! I got first place! I had a chance! I got to the final door annnnnd I got 34 again. One... short... again. Oh... no...

JianJun gets to the door again and... rolls a 39. The game is over. I lost. JianJun won. Shocking. This motherfucker who cheated on every 1v3 won the whole damn game. Yeah I was bitter about it. Then again I had my chances and blew it. So alas... I did not beat Master difficulty on my first try in my 2nd stint of Wii Party U. But... this only means I'll be running it back!

And you better damn believe I will go against JianJun again. Also known as... fucker.