This isn't funny anymore.

I decide to torture myself in another week of the Super Mario Bros. 35 Continued Interest Weekly Tournaments. I'll be honest, I'm not playing that great. And I think it might take me a long ass while if I want to get any sort of good.

We started with warmups. Which didn't go... great... yeah I'm sure that was a "great" sign. At 9:30 PM EST, the tourney began and match 1 was Switch 2. Also known as every 2nd level from every world. I lasted approximately 13 minutes before I was caught in a corner in 5-2 with bloopers and hammers up my ass. And I ended the match in 6th place... I'm noticing a pattern here. As I was spectating the others, I noticed a huge Lakitu wave coming in to terrorize everybody... maybe I am glad I got out early. Hopefully I would do better in the 2nd match. The 2nd match was the Star Spangled Banner! These were levels that had star items in them. The theme for the match made sense since it was the closest Saturday to the 4th of July. Funny how I lasted about 13 minutes again before a very unfortunate shove of Mario's head into a koopa's ass led to my death. But hey... I got 5th place!... yay?

Match 3 was Fish Bridge Frenzy. Oh joy. Surprisingly there weren't actually that many fish bridges. It was only about 12 minutes in when it really started. Even when I am so damn careful trying to avoid the fish, sadly this run came to another disgusting end when I just apparently jumped right on top of a piranha plant. Thinking I would have more forward speed when jumping. Match 4 was Player's Choice. AKA I hate you all. I actually didn't do that bad. I just fucked up horribly when Mario decided he wasn't going to jump on one of the moving platforms in 5-3. I love this game. Welp once again I had one last chance. Garbage time win? Match 5 was our old friend RTAndomizer. I had to be careful. Just don't be stupid-annnnnd I die not even a fucking minute into the match.

I prepare myself for disappointment and I am still disappointed.