Even second chances can't save me.

So the magical question arrives. Am I any better playing Mario 35 Continued Interest tournaments now than I was then? Answer. No.

Jumping into some warmups, apparently a fucking Koopa Troopa eye can kill me. Oh that gives me a lot of confidence. Match 1 was "Get Off My Lawn". Get your mowers ready. There's a lot of plants in this round. Which starts off with 1-1. EZPZ Lemon Squeezy! 1-2? yawn. Now hold on. Why am I just randomly dying in 1-2? So apparently 2 of the players got randomly disconnected so we agreed to redo the match. Which thankfully went smooth-no it didn't. We got disconnected again on the first level. Oh joyfulness. Okay... FOR REAL THIS TIME MATCH 1! Thankfully this time I make it past two fucking levels. 2-1 was a breeze. But sadly I couldn't get a disconnect in my favor playing 5-2 as I decided to think I could take a high route and by the time I started to go back left, Mario went slow as balls and fell into the pit. Landing me in a DISGUSTING 10th place.

Match 2 "Grand Salami!". Hammers and 8-4 Bowser's galore... fun... I died quickly in 5-2... again. Because even when temporarily invincible, I can't land on a hammer bro to save my fucking life. However this time in my favor, we get a disconnection so that death didn't count! HUZZAH! This time I don't play dumb in 5-2 and get to proceed onward! Hell I even get a KO in this match! That like never happens! I even crush Bowser's booty in 8-4! I even land 5-2 a second time and beat it no problem! Before I get a clean hammer to the head in 5-1. At least I got 9th place this time. Yay? Match 3, Player's Choice. Starts in 2-2. Which is a fucking horrible first level. Though surprisingly I get through it without losing my flower. 1-2 is an easy fest. But then for some reason in the warp zone, I choose to go 6-3. Despite me hating that level. And dying in that level is the exact reason why I hate it. I land in 10th place again. And no disconnects so my 10th place stood. Poor EnigmaWave wanted to surf some lakitus but I don't think they realized that they had no coins. So needless to say, they were fucked.

Match 4, "A Trip To The Beach". Water levels, bridge levels, coin reefs or bonus areas that are underwater, etc. Oh and a quick disconnect in 1-1. RETRY. I make it past 1-1 this time. And then we disconnect a-fucking-gain in 2-1. Oh the servers were really having fun today weren't they? This time I make it past 1-1 and 2-1! HUZZAH! I get past 5-1 and 5-2. And I warp back to 5-1 in 4-2. Catching on yet? 2-2 is next and I somehow survive that. Same with 2-3. 7-2 and 7-3 are next. Hmm... Well I got past 2-2 and 7-2 so surely I'd get past 2-3 and 7-3. NOPE! I just casually take a nice pit to the face and get 7th place. Welp. One more match to go. Just end the bleeding with "Press Y". Or Player's Choice The Sequel. Patent Pending. Which starts us off in 1-1. Love it. 2-1 is easy. 5-4 I also get through. Same with 6-2. And I am MUCH MORE CAREFUL this time in 6-3. I get through 2-4. Sadly my party ends in 3-4. Way too many fucking Bowser's. At least I got 5th place. Landing me on the weekly leaderboard! HUZZAH!

Too bad a disconnect couldn't land me a 1st place finish.