Just one itty-bitty wrong move.

Another Saturday, another round of Super Mario Bros. 35 Continued Interest tournaments! I didn't do great last time and I wanted to redeem myself this time. Instead what I got... was an even worse performance than the week before.

The first round was All Athletics. Which I guess the idea was that the levels had no ground and were more jump based. After we all got kicked out the first time, getting back in, I lasted... maybe 30 seconds before pulling myself back and dying. Yeah it was going to be a great game. No matter. It was a fluke. Still 4 rounds. Next one being Piranha Plants on Parade. AKA, levels with lots of Piranhas. Thankfully this round started with 1-2. Which I got through easily. When I got to the warp zone... which had shit levels... I picked 8-1. And that was a mistake. Firstly because I thought it was 8-4. Not 8-1.

I did alright but then I got into a bad pickle. With Piranha Plants in very inconvenient locations. And then I got met face to face with a hammer bro, Koopa, and Goomba. And of course I had no power up. So I died. Yay... I had to wake myself up and stop being dumb. Round 3 was basically players choice. The host told us to hit Y on the level select screen but... did we really? I didn't. I made it through 1-2 and even 3-4. 4-3 too despite the craziness. And then... 5-4. I had no power up so of course I used the roulette wheel. And got a POW block. Used it again... POW block. 3rd time... fucking... POW block. Screw it... I was booking it.... annnnd I short jumped and fell in the lava. Oh joyous days. This was getting ridiculous.

The next round was Fish Bridge Frenzy. Thankfully not every level was just fish bridges. And the first level was even 1-1. A cozy, easy stroll... AND I DIED ON THE FIRST GOOMBA!... lol jk. I made it through 2-3. But when I got to 7-3, failing miserably to jump on a Koopa led me to... MY DEATH! This was round 4 of 5. And I was averaging like... 8th and 9th place... of 13 or so people. Have I really gotten that bad at Mario 35?

I had one last chance. Classic RTA. Each level in order. Starting with 1-1. No... fucking... around. It was time for PURE CONCENTRATION! Made it through 1-1, 1-2, 2-1, 2-2, 2-3, 2-4 even despite 50 bowsers. When I got to 3-4... as sad as it was to say it... I knew it was game over. I had low coins and there was about 400 lakitus. Spiny drops on my head, knocks me into the lava, and I finish in 10th fucking place.

So yeah. My performance this week was nothing short of pure rotten shit. Maybe I'll do better next week. Maybe I'll host a tournament. And make every level fucking 1-2.