mmmm... monkey.

I am back with the horrifying game that is Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask! What a hell of a ride it's been. Link getting his horse stolen, Ocarina stolen, Deku mask glued to head, teaming up with a fairy, meeting up with the creepy mask salesman, meeting mommy goddess fairy, playing hide and seek with kids, trying to stop the moon from crashing to the land, fighting the skull kid, getting my Ocarina back to travel back in time... and we're just getting started.

I meet back with the Happy Mask Salesman who seems to be ecstatic thinking I got his precious item back. Hell he's so happy he even teaches me another melody to play that gets the damn Deku mask off my face. When it comes to giving him back his item though... uh... well... let's just say he isn't particularly thrilled that I don't actually have it. He says that Majora's Mask is "an accursed item from legend that is said to have been used by an ancient tribe in its hexing rituals." Essentially... it has unbelievable evil powers that it gives to whoever wears the mask. In this case, the Skull Kid. Apparently it was sealed up... allegedly. Until the salesman was able to acquire it. Doesn't seem like he ever wore it. But the kid sure did. And it's up to me to get it back. So i head back into town. Tatl mentions there's 4 special areas just outside of town. A swamp, mountain, ocean, and canyon. Tatl points me in the direction of the swamp first. So that's where I head off to. Not before a guard stops me. Until he realizes I am wielding a sword and lets me pass. Oh why thank you! I get though and into Termina Field. I consider this to be the main lobby for the 4 main areas. I spend some time defeating some slimy enemies and also cutting down some weeds for rupees! Finally I'm actually getting paid! Before heading to the swamp, I come across a little carving on a tree. Tatl mentions that she and Tael drew it when they first met the Skull Kid. Before he became all fucked up and cursed. They first met the poor guy when he was hiding under the big open log in Termina Field. Tatl and Tael would offer the kid some protection and support. From then they would go on to become good friends. And it would turn out that they would run into the Happy Mask Salesman, and presumably knock him the fuck out to then steal Majora's Mask. And... that's that!

So I head further into the swamp area. For the most part it feels more like a forest. More slime balls to wake down and more weeds to whack. Oh yeah there's bats too I have to take care of. At least it feels easy to replenish my health. So that's good! There's these rocks with eyes on them that tell me how much time I have left. There's a Swamp Shooting Gallery I head into. But I don't have enough rupees to shoot and even if I did, I don't even have a Bow and Arrow. There's some of those flower... boost upward thingies lying around so I put my Deku mask on thinking I can go somewhere with those. It doesn't seem like it. Off to what I assume is one of the main parts of the swamp. The Southern Swamp. Oh yeah, I get a Deku Stick. Uh... cool... a branch. What a useful item. Up on the tourist information area there's this dude who sells Magic Beans to Deku Scrubs. But it seems he wants to leave his hometown. He mentions something about going through the proper channels and then I am prompted to give an item. Of course I have no damn clue what to give him and I don't think I even have something I can give. Inside the info booth, there's a merchant who wants me to provide a photograph to which I don't have. But the Tourist Center is holding a pictograph contest and than a free boat cruise will be awarded for the nicest pictographs. To be able to enter, I have to take the boat cruise and that reservations are handled at the window. But the fucking Ticket office is closed. How convenient? I'm relocated to the Magic Hags' Potion Shop near the edge of the swamp. So that is where I head off to! But of course I am then relocated again to find this Koume individual who had apparently gone out to the woods to look for some mushrooms and seems to be late coming back and that I need to find her. She says I can ask some monkeys who live in the woods to help me. Well it looks like it'll be a while before I can ride the cruise.

So off to the Woods of Mystery where I have to follow this monkey. And no. It doesn't wait for me. Not even if the turtles in the forest come and attack me. After my 2nd try I follow the monkey to its little tribe where I seem to have found Koume. She looks to be paralyzed on the ground and that I need to provide something to help her. To which... I have nothing. I try offering a Deku Nut. That doesn't do shit. So great it's like I have to do a side quest of a side quest of a side quest of a side quest and so on and so forth. There's a bigger little lake area in this swamp. I swim around it. Seemingly not being able to anywhere besides a small platform in the middle. I can hop around the water though in my Deku mask which helps me a little. There's this big octopus dude blocking an entrance. I can't seem to defeat it. Not even with my Deku bubbles. All while there is this other squid dude who is trying to attack me. That I can attack and kill. I can't buy any Magic Beans from the dude outside the tourist info area because apparently I have no damn clue how to use them. From here, I'll be honest I have no damn clue where I'm going. I do find the Astral Observatory in Termina Field. There's also this random ass hole that has 4 of those eye rocks that tell you how much time you have left. That's kind of random. Come the night of the 2nd day when now there's haunted enemies to roam the land. Including these floating flaming skulls where if they attack you, they Jinx you and you can't use your sword. I found that out the hard way. No using the Song of Healing does not help you here. And then I died. For a while I just kind of wander about until I get back to the swamp that has now been infested with ferocious wolves who want to bite my fucking head off. I do find another one of those tingles who are floating on a balloon. But it's hard to free the dude when these wolves are hunting me down. And then I find out it's more easier to attack the wolves just as link with your sword.

I try to free the tingle even while the game is transitioning to the final day. But I can't get it off in time. I just let the next day come around and then I free the guy so then I can get some minimaps of Woodfall and Snowhead. The maps don't honestly help me that much but it is nice to just have them. I don't think I can get anywhere until I defeat that big ass octopus. The Magic Hag has left the potion shop. Seemingly to do errands in the forest. After another long while of just wandering about, I come across the Milk Ranch. Hey look another Tingle! I end up buying a map of the Romani Ranch. Albeit accidentally. I was pressing buttons too fast. At least that seems to be where I'm headed off to next. Next time of course. I'll probably have to play the song of time soon though. As I am once again on the final day. I'll lose my nuts and my poor little Deku Stick. And my 20 rupees. Not like I care much about those anyway. I'll definitely keep going on my own for as long as I can. Though I feel at some point there will come a time where I'll need to use a walkthrough guide. Yeah yeah I know put shame on me. In a more open world game like this with no clear objective given to me on screen, I'll definitely need the extra help. To me, these games are about making progress and getting through them. I don't enjoy running down the streets naked you know? You feel me?

Don't... actually feel me that would be creepy to all hell.