Do the Bears still suck? Yeah. They do.

Holy piss I am so late on this blog. Yes yes yes. I know by the time I am writing this the Bears playoff road is already ended. Thanks again Stafford! Your contribution is greatly appreciated!

So the Lions are 8-8 and out of the playoffs. Sad. And now they look to take on a foe to which they put up... how many? Oh yeah. 52 fucking points on in week 2. Caleb Williams still won't know what the fuck hit him in the final week of the season. Lions get the ball and put zero fucking trust in their defense and say GIVE US THE DAMN BALL! Slowly but surely, Detroit gets moving down the field. No stress I guess when you face the Chicago defense. Of course only save big plays for the big fan TeSlaa himself. He gets the big 18 yard chunks... okay yes Jamo also got a 12 yard reception. And hey you know? 2nd and 1? At the Bears 12? Do I hear... TOUCHDOWN?... no... I uh... I fucking don't. A safe throw to Firkser is too fucking safe and he loses 4 yards... who the fuck is Firkser? After not connecting with St. Brown ever, Dan Campbell does something crazy and actually sends in Jake Bates for a 34 yarder. How dare he not go for it? Either way, the try is good, and the Lions are on the board. Now how much can our defense do? Our lack of defense? Not a whole lot. But I guess in some worlds you could say not a whole lot is still enough. The Lions do eventually stop Chicago at the Lions 44 and the Bears settle for a punt. Well miraculously Detroit somehow converts a 3rd and 9... didn't think they had it in them to convert a 3rd and long. St. Brown and Jamo seemed to be prominent roles in this drive... oh yeah I think Gibbs and Monty existed there too? I mean they tried to get Monty involved by then Ratledge gets holding called on him... and then they went to Monty again and everything was fine! 1st and 10 at the Bears 12. Touchdown here we come-son of a bitch why is Bates on the field? Yeah so Goff suddenly went.... incomplete, incomplete, incomplete... cool so... 2 chances at touchdowns turns into 2 field goals. At least Chicago goes 3 and out. Big thanks to Hutch for eating up ol' Willy for a loss of 7. And then Chicago bites their ass with an Encroachment call when the Lions had 4th and 1. Which helps us. Okay... come on baby! A big fucking 30 yard catch by St. Brown to put it 1st and 10 at the Bears 15? THIS IS THE TOUCHDOWN RIGHT?... yes! Yes it fucking is actually! Gibbs with a 15 yard touchdown pass and the Lions up 13 to zip!

Bears are very needy for points at the end of the half. And despite them moving, and despite them thinking they could've converted a 4th down, Loveland's catch would be dropped and picked up by Detroit. But it was then determined that Loveland never secured the catch at all. Still a turnover regardless of a fumble or not... since... well you know it was fucking 4th down. The Lions were able to set themselves up for an end of half field goal... and that was it... What? I said they set it up. I never said they GOT the field goal. So the Lions couldn't get the last second 3 points. But they were still up 13-0. Since the Lions so badly wanted the ball to start the game, Chicago got the ball to start the 2nd half... and then to go 3 and fucking out. Lions then go 3 and out plus 1. Basically... 1 play big enough to get them a 1st down... also known as a 14 run for Gibbs... and then the 3 and out. Delay of game on 3rd and 4 and then Goff is smooshed. 2nd and 4 from the Lions 37 for Chicago now and Ben Johnson plays the "GO FOR IT FUCKING ALL" card... that failed. Maddox with pick. Lions ball. Lions moving. 24 yards here for Raymond. 13 more for Monty. 25 more yards down total between Jamo and Monty. 1st and Goal at the 9. Touchdown incoming... BATES AGAIN? FUCK! Okay. 16 to 0. Whatever. We're shutting the Bears down. So what if the Bears are known for their late ass comebacks? Caleb Williams and the Bears have looked like stinky rotten garbage so far. Okay so Walker gets the Bears a 25 yard touchdown and then Monangai gets a successful 2 point conversion. Big whoop. It was bound to happen. Hell even a field goal makes it a 2 score game again... we get our offense going. We're moving down the... annnnd Dan Campbell has his "hurr durr" fucking moment deciding "LET'S MAKE MONTGOMERY THROW THE DAMN BALL!"... like good fucking grief... YEP! Monty sacked, Lions punt, like sometimes not every time is a time for a trick play. Can't stop Chicago for shit. They get a touchdown. AGAIN. With another successful 2 point. chicago has tied the game? Okay. Whatever. We're fine. We're moving down the field. 1st and 10 at the 25 with 150 seconds left in regulation. So what if Goff had grounding? Still at the 35. Still in relative Bates range... Goff's pass is picked fuck my ass.

Thankfully the Bears go 3 and out thanks to a grounding call now on Williams. With the ball back in Detroit's hands and with a couple timeouts to play with, can we get back into field goal range? Well a 26 yard pass to St. Brown will help. With just a couple seconds left in the game, all Chicago can do is watch as Bates nails a 42 yarder to give Detroit a 4th consecutive winning season... I mean that's something right? Winning 9-8 season and dead fucking last in the division. I mean hey... at least we have an easy schedule for next year! HUZZAH! XD! And... that's it. That is the end of the Lions season... I mean shit I've only witnessed 2 Lions playoffs in my whole life and it already feels so weird not seeing them in the playoffs. This was just a bad year for the Lions. Yeah the injuries were... ass... but also losing Ben Johnson and Aaron Glenn were huge blows to our coordinating... especially Johnson. I mean shit look at the Bears? Under Johnson's first year with them the Bears win the fucking division and go to the damn playoffs and EVEN WIN A FUCKING PLAYOFF GAME! i am truly in hell. Fuck! Green Bay even had 21-6 lead going into the 4th quarter. I mean 25 fucking points allowed in the 4th? That is an all time fucking choke job. Good job Green Bay. The one time I root for you and you still disappoint me. But anyways... time for our annual recap of the season. Yeah so the Lions got off to a sloppy start. Their game in Green bay was... to say the least... bad. But hey... 1st week jitters. I get it. The Lions would return home and put BELT TO ASS on Chicago. 52 to 21. See? Week 1 was a fluke. And then they go to Baltimore and sack Lamar SEVEN times! Talk about fucking yikes. Cleveland... allegedly had a good defense... and yet Detroit still put 34 points on their ass. Myles Garrett... allegedly the greatest rusher didn't even record a single sack. Aiden Hutchinson recorded 2! Suck it Garrett! XD! Burrowless Bengals? Yeah. Easy dub. So what if Cincy outscored us 21-9 in the 4th? We did what we needed to do to win! Could Goff continue his undefeated streak against Mahomes?... unfortunately no. To be fair we all know the refs wanted the Chiefs to win that game. Yeah keep screaming about your stupid "Goff needed to be set" bullshit-THE REF CALLED TOUCHDOWN DAMMIT!

Hey. The Lions did business well against the Bucs. Only 9 points allowed? I'll take it! A bye week well needed to get guys rested for an easy game against Minnesota. We all know the Lions own the Vikings. World's easiest wins-hehe nope. McCarthy may be trash but of course the one fucking time he was... tolerable. At least the Lions bounced back against Washington. Sure they didn't have Daniels. But it still felt good to get revenge after what they did to the Lions in the divisional round last year. Despite the Lions only allowing 16 points to Philly, unfortunately their own offense scored less points. Only 9 put up? Could've been 16-10 had Jamo not been a stupid fuck. Then again at the same time... TAKE THE DAMN POINTS CAMPBELL! At least the Giants suck... I mean not suck suck? It's embarrassing that game even had to go to overtime. But one play essentially sealed the game winner. Lions proved that their Thanksgiving win last year was a fluke. We all know it's a rule that the Lions must lose on Thanksgiving. No. Law. But they'll get an impressive bounce back with a win against Dallas. Sure it wasn't a 47-9 win. But still a win. Lions undefeated on Prime Thursday Night Football! 8-5? Not the greatest record but still a shot at the playoffs! And then those dreams got pissed away quickly after blowing a 24 to 14 lead against the Rams, losing to Aaron Rodgers and the Steelers because the refs so badly wanted Rodgers in the playoffs, and losing to Max fucking Brosmer on Christmas against the Vikings... MAX BROSMER???? Also the first time in forever that the Lions lose back to back games... now when was the last time they lost back to back to back? So yeah... it wasn't a pretty season. But it still had its fun moments. I do think next season will be better. They'll play the entire NFC South. Bucs, Falcons, Panthers, Saints. I can see the Lions sweeping them. The Lions also play their fellow 4th place teams in the Giants and Cardinals. Both should be winnable. The Lions will play the AFC East (Bills, Patriots, Dolphins, Jets). Never count the Lions out against the Bills. Those games always seem to be very high scoring. And the Lions also play the Titans... boy they better win that one. Oh yeah... and the Bears, Packers, and Vikings.

Am I calling for Dan Campbell and Brad Holmes to be on the hot seat yet? No. Absolutely not. Good teams have their bad years. I mean fuck look at the Chiefs! They went 6-11 dammit! At least we had a winning season! XD! Look at the Ravens! They started 1-5! Despite then winning 5 straight, a missed kick at the end of their final game was the only reason why they didn't go to the playoffs. Look at the Vikings! They pissed away Sam Darnold and then went 9-8. Sam Darnold shutout the Vikings even in week 13. How's karma feeling for them huh? And now Darnold is going to the fucking Super Bowl! XD! That's just the greatest fucking Karma ever! Look at the Commanders! I mean losing Daniels hurt but even then. They didn't look nearly as good even with him this year than they did last year. Teams have rough years and then come back. Like the Jaguars and shit even the Patriots! The Bears, Panthers, and 49ers!... okay granted the panthers only made it because of some dumb ass tie breaker and the bucs taking on a collapse of their own. But still. I don't think the Lions will miss the playoffs next year. And hell... no matter what I am always a loyal fan. Regardless of if they're 15-2 or 0-17. I love the Lions just like I do the Tigers, Red Wings, and Pistons. And hey... sometimes in life... when you're feeling a little down... and you need to let off some steam...

Just launch a Madden game, adjust some sliders, and destroy a team 682-0.