How to lose a -3 score in 2 easy minutes!

Mr. Wheel speaks again! Next on the Christmas block, it has given me the Winter of Wii Sports Extravaganza! Sure neither Wii Sports nor Wii Sports Resort are wintery, snowy, Christmassy games. But it's more about the series name. (((Winter))) of Wii Sports Extravaganza. In this case, going back to 18 hole Golf on Wii Sports Resort!

Starting right off the bat with a clean hole 1 birdie. Hole 2 was done quickly and earned me a birdie too! Hole 3 also got me a birdie. Starting off with a -3? I'll take it! Hole 4, I thought maybe I had a chance to somehow get an outside green birdie putt? Yeah that was a little much to ask. I still got par there though from a 23.3 foot putt. Hole 5 was where things went sour. My ball drinks water and on a 10.5 foot putt to the hole, my ball veers right because I didn't aim left enough. Double bogey there. Now only down to -1. I settle for par on hole 6. My ball drinks more water on hole 7 so by the time I sink my ball, it's a bogey and I am back to even par. Cool... so much for a -3 score. Hole 8 is even shittier. First off, my first swing was weak so guess where my ball went? IN THE WATER! WAHOO! Then my bogey putt veers right so now I settle for double bogey and now I am 2 over par. Good! I made up for it not on hole 9. My 3rd shot sends the ball over the green. My 5th shot putt is left of the hole. So I take another bogey here. So I have gone from 3 under to 3 over. Surely I'd get a birdie on hole 10. It's a straight fucking line. But my 10.5 foot putt dinks off the left side of the hole some how and rolls away. Now this game is giving me the middle finger as I take par here. I have to take par on hole 11 too because my first shot was weak. I do make the secret fair patch on hole 12 my first try though. It's a par 5 hole too so the birdie here was pretty easy. I sink in a birdie on hole 13 too. My birdie putt on hole 14 veers right. Naturally. I am so good at veering my balls just left or just right. Despite hole 15 being played sloppy, I still get par there. My 9.5 foot par putt on hole 16... apparently i put too much fucking oompf into it because hop skip and jump it goes right over the fucking hole! I do get a really nice outside the green birdie putt on hole 17! Well I have a chance here. Only 1 over going into hole 18-i go for the 3rd island like a greedy bitch, it sinks in the water, i restart. I don't know why I did that. I shouldn't do it again. I take several restarts on hole 1 until I get an ideal wind. And then my 2nd shot goes right over the fucking hole. Amazing. Trying it again and now I get a birdie. My 15.1 foot putt on hole 2 was too strong so I had to take par. But I did get birdie on hole 3 and take par on hole 4.

As bad as my hole 5 performance was, I guess because my ball never drank water, I was still able to snag a par. Trying to get a 13 yard putt from the very inside edge of the... edge of green was much to ask for. I took par on hole 6 and any dreams of par on hole 7 were just shattered. Guess that downward slope wasn't as straight as I thought it was. My birdie go on hole 8 was just such a no go. Aimed way off. I just started on hole 9 because it was so fucking bad. From the start really. My ball eating sand and then my 21 foot par putt being left just enough that it can skip over the hole. And then my bogey putt was too fucking strong. RESTART! Hole 1 birdie putt veers right, yeah that's a restart. And then again the birdie putt... 49.4 feet away mind you... close but... no cigar. I finally get it my next go and move on to hole 2. Can't take birdie there of course because the ball goes just left. Yeah it's a fucking curse at this rate. I do sink a 31.1 foot birdie putt on hole 3 though. My 2nd shot on hole 4 somehow gets a hard ass right curve... yeah because I totally wanted to do that. So I had to go for an 11 yard outside green putt and hope it sinks in... shockingly it did for par! Alright that makes up for the hard right curve fuckery! And then my par putt on hole 5 veers too much left so I have to take bogey there. A 9 yard outside green putt for birdie on hole 6 was a hard ask. Just oh so right... also it looked like that ball was more just on the outside edge of the edge of green. But the game determined it was in the rough. Another par putt that veers just left on hole 7 i mean holy fucking shit. So another bogey I am forced to take, putting me to even par going into hole 8. Another par putt FUCKING DENIED because the hole was just left and a little too fast for it to just jump over the hole. I swear how many par chances have I had now that were JUST denied? Hole 9 is just absolute shit. Ball eats sand, jumps on and off the green, par putt veers right, bogey score... (sigh)... oh and no... I can't get birdie on hole 10. Par putt veers left... I think that ball has some weird weight when it gets on the green. I take par on hole 11 and NEARLY get an eagle on 12 since I reached the green on my 2nd shot. Yes I did hit the secret fair my first try. I did still get the birdie. My birdie putt on hole 13 is hulk smashed off the fucking green and I have to take bogey.

Despite my 2nd shot on hole 14 bouncing off the green and to the outside of it, I still have a chance for birdie. Just need to make a 22.1 foot putt-I don't get it. But I did get an easy birdie on hole 15. And a 30.3 foot birdie putt on hole 16 too. I nearly made an 18 yard birdie putt on hole 17. Had my shot been a tad bit stronger, it could've had a shot. But I am going into hole 18 on even par. You know... maybe this time I thought I could make it to the 3rd island? I mean it's very light winds... well i'll tell you this... i did click restart... just as a little sign of how things went there... Birdie putt hole 1 goes right, restart. Try again and it's in. Long birdie on hole 2 which sinks. Not on hole 3. But I do... not get par there... or hole 4... soft tapper and it bounces left good fuck. 31.6 foot birdie putt on hole 5 was JUST right. Amazing. Couldn't quite get a 13 yard birdie putt from the edge of green on hole 6 so I settled for par. I take a sad bogey on hole 7. Albeit i made a perfect sinking 23 yard putt from the outside edge of the edge of green! Sad it had to be for bogey though. On hole 8, my ball was just on the edge of the island with the green that my guy was literally tilting. Not enough to distract me through from taking par on this one. My birdie putt on hole 9 actually looked like it had a good line. It was just too fucking fast. And then my par putt was tasted the right edge of the rim and bounced so I had to take bogey. 2 over going to hole 10. I'd desperately like a birdie here. Which I don't get because my 2nd shot is too weak that the ball doesn't even hit the green. I tried for a long outside the green putt. It got me closer to the hole for par. But didn't go IN the hole. I also take par on hole 11. Hole 12 here is the first time I well over shot the secret fair patch. I won't bother trying again. I just restart. Once I get ideal hole 1 winds, I'm able to drive myself to a birdie. My birdie putt on hole 2 is way too fucking strong. And I figure... yeah I want a -3 score going into hole 4. RESTART. I guess I'll settle for 2 under going to hole 4 this time. It wasn't a great hole 3 performance. But still good enough for par. Nearly had a 16 yard outside green birdie putt. Just wasn't enough juice. The pain starts already through as my par putt on hole 4 was a little friend called... just veering right. And with a dip in the water on hole 5, it's time for a restart.

Going into hole 4 here on only 1 under my next run because hole 3 was doing so badly again. My ball slows down because it touches wood. And my par putt VEERS RIGHT HOLY SHIT! That's like my 30th blown par opportunity! As for hole 4 itself? Yeah it's a case of fucking deja vu. But you know what? I actually got the par! Not a fucking bogey! Huh! How about that? So it IS possible! A 40.6 foot par putt to my shock actually sinks in on hole 5. That once in a blue moon where my putt was aimed perfectly! My ball on hole 6 runs through leaves and my 3rd shot lands on the edge of green where we look at a 9 yard par putt. Do I get it? Uh... no... even par now on hole 7. Speaking of par, that's what I get on that hole, 39.3 feet away from it. Another nicely aimed putt with a wonky green curvature. My 23 yard birdie putt on hole 8 from the edge of green actually seemed to have the perfect line. It was just a tad too fast. Oh yeah fuck any par dreams that putt was also too fast. But I can make 32.7 foot putts for par on hole 9. And 34.4 foot par putts on hole 10. But 2 foot par putts? Don't bother. Hole 11 starts with a red rocket to the right. Cool. And then my 21.8 foot par putt... doesn't ever really turn right. Which I thought it would. But nope. This was the one hole that decided the ball will go straight on the green. My next shot, I go STRAIGHT in the hole for bogey. Putting me now at 1 over overall. I undershot my swing for the secret fair on hole 12 which I think is a recipe for RESTART. 2 under going to hole 4 this time. Where from 25 yards to the hole, my swing actually had the perfect line to the hole, it was... again... too fast. But holy shit that was closer than I thought it'd be. I do still get the par here. Hole 5 is definitely a lot cleaner than how it usually goes. Usually I eat sand once or twice here. I seemed to avoid that this time as I get the birdie! I nearly get a 14 yard edge of green birdie putt on hole 6. It must've been just right though as though it touched the rim, it bounced away and rolled left. Still got par though. I try something different on hole 7. On my 2nd shot, i never truly realized there was a very long patch of fair on the right. Usually I try to hit the little small ass patch on the left. Though when I got to the green, my par putt still wasn't easy. 25.9 feet away and it... I am getting sick and tired of saying veering. I get bogey.

On Hole 8, I aim my birdie putt too far right and have to take par. My hole 9 performance was... maybe a tad better. I did get par here and not some bogey pile of shit headed to hole 10. I was asking for a lot with a 33.1 foot birdie putt. I thought maybe the hurricane winds would help carry the ball... it most absolutely did not. I took par here. Same with hole 11. I make the secret fair patch my first try this time on hole 12. 2nd shot is well overdone for any green landing. And my 23.5 foot putt for birdie is going right... I say going because I don't like saying veering anymore. I once again take par here. And once more on hole 13 because my birdie putt was just a little too left. A chip shot birdie putt on hole 14 sends me to 3 under par. Definitely a better run going here. And an even 29 foot birdie putt on hole 15 sinks in too. 4 under going into hole 16? Nah... no... this isn't real... imagine making a 55.3 birdie putt with the worlds wonkiest curves? Yeah... uh... not remotely fucking possible. Oh yeah my curse of can't make short par putts for shit sticks around on hole 17. Can't make an 8.4 foot putt for shit. But... I am still 3 under going into the final hole. THREE UNDER! All I have to do is not fuck this up and I go for the 3rd island, the ball lands out of bounds, I am punching my face so hard right now. Oh yeah... imagine a grown ass me trying to get right to the final island from the 2nd one and having my shot red rocket and land in water and now I am on my 6th shot on a par 5 I am not likey this and then that shot lands in water and now I am on shot 8 and by the time I am on the green it is shot 10 which does land in the hole but that meant I just added 5 to my score making it a 2 over final fuck my ass. I played stupid games and got stupid prizes because I was a greedy bitch. I knew for sure I was going to lose experience here. There's no way I gain any... I gained 48 experience...

HOLY FUCK THIS GAME HAS THE BIGGEST PITY FOR ME!