I finally got my dream body!

Another funny, goofy, lighthearted game picked by yours truly, Mr. Wheel! Pro Gymnast Simulator! The game about showing you are the best at gymnastics. Performing flips and dives with ease and perfection! Maybe this game will help inspire me to better take care of my body and become quite buff myself!

I hop in. And naturally I create the buffiest looking hunk I could possibly make... what? I'm not self conscious. I SWEAR! Once I create my guy, it's time to get exercising! We start with the Oceanside Pier Training Ground. The first level... albeit me failing instantly is really easy. Just pressing the right shoulder button to drop my guy to the mat. 2nd level takes me some time to understand. So if you just hold down the right shoulder button, you instantly let go of something you can hold. So here I need to let go before I reach the final set of bars to complete the level. 3rd level gets a bit tougher, and I definitely didn't take a short time to beat it. I have to fall onto a mat, slide down on it, grab a bar, and let go at the right time to land on the mat. But even when I do, I somehow still don't beat the level? Dude I am on the finish mat! But... sure... fuck it. If the game says I failed then somehow I failed. Landing on the mat for the 2nd time actually completes the level. Sure. The next level teaches me a mechanic. Timing and slowing speed down. If I hold the left shoulder, I can make things slow and therefore, my timing for certain things can be much better. Like letting go of the bar I am holding when the next one I need to hold on to crosses an arrow. I wish I didn't need several attempts to do something so mundane. But I got the job done. The next level is pretty easy. Again it's about timing. Fly off the spinning wheel at the right time to smash yourself into the finish mat. The next level is another training stage. This is one of many pose matchers. One of many... confusing ass ones. So I'm supposed to match the pose on the screen. Matching it is relative to the body. Not the screen. And yet sometimes it feels like my arms need to be completely elsewhere compared to the figure on the screen. I don't know. I just wailed my arms around until the screen was happy and I could beat the level. And then there was another pose practice stage. This one dealt with both arms and legs. Again I just wailed my shit around until the screen was happy. To which then I could land on the finish mat. The next level was stupid easy. Just release off the bar at the right time to jump over the wooden hump and land on the mat. I beat it my first try.

And now another control train stage. This one was also confusing as shit. The game wanting me to hold and release my right stick at the right times. But even when I felt like I was doing it right, the game was like... "erm no you're not". And yet I somehow beat the level. I don't know. I don't like these control practice stages. I just want to play the game and make my guy blast off into the air. The next level is stupid easy. Almost like a baby small version of the last level I played. Just fly off the bar at the right time, jump over the TEENY TINY little wooden ramp and land on the mat. But however the next level... as stupid easy as it looks actually gives me the most trouble. It's like... I don't know a fucking 5 foot fly to the finish bars. And yet every time I fly off the damn bar, I have like zero fucking forward momentum. I might go up in the air but I can't fucking go right. Could I do the control practice again? Sure. But I am a MAN remember? I'm supposed to just... fucking do it! After enough trial and error, I get the job done. Shockingly. And now another fucking control practice stage. Similar to the last. But instead of using the right stick, I use the left to swing around the bar and hit the little red dot several times until the game feels satisfied. Eventually I just fucking cheated and used both sticks to get this training course done faster. The next stage is also pretty tough. I'm supposed to somehow move my way across 3 sets of bars. Each one lower than the last. I mean fuck I can't even make myself fly in a rightward direction. How the hell am I supposed to beat this? I am actually stunned I figured out what the fuck I was doing. It's more about just letting go as my feet are swinging to the right but still relatively low too. If that makes a lick of sense. The next level, thankfully not too hard. Just letting go of the bar at the right time to grab the finish rope. Yeah we're using ropes now. And now another pose training level. Time time we're adding bending knees to the mix. You get the drift. I just move every part around until the screen is happy and then I can land on the finish mat! The next level is once again another one where I have to jump over a wooden hump to land on the finish mat. This one isn't as easy though.

I definitely smack my poor face into the wood a lot. There were also several times where it felt like I should've made it over. But my momentum pushed me back and I had to restart the level. That does it for the training ground as I can move over to the Santa Monica Championship! I'll probably end up going back to the Training Ground levels simply because I set myself up to 100% this game. the first Santa Monica Championship level is pretty easy. I mean... it's not first try easy. But all I had to do was jump off the bar at the right time with the right momentum to grab on to the finish rope. But sometimes I just phase right through the rope and I am there going... huh? The next level, I have to release myself from the first bar at the right time, grab onto the 2nd one, easier said than done, and kind of jump in between these 2 red mats to reach the finish bars. Now up until this point, the game's difficulty has been... tolerable... until I reach this fucking level. It looks like it can be done in 2 seconds. I have to let go of the bar and reach the finish rope. There's these 2 walls that stay open but until I let go of the bar I am holding on to. I swear I actually made this stage look harder than it needed to be. My issue was just not getting fucking momentum. There would be times I'd get close. Whether it was getting through the walls but not able to grab the finish rope. Or not quite make it through and just kind of... chill in between the walls... alrighty... I definitely spent a... fuck load of time on this level. Thinking I wasn't going to be able to beat it before the end of my stream. Though I did kind of start to find a semi-consistent strategy in terms of how to get good spins on the bar. And believe it or not... after like... over 20 fucking minutes, I finally beat the damn level. Holy shit I thought it couldn't be done. It's actually ass I'll have to come back to this level. For now I just use what little time I have left to check out the next levels. Thankfully the next level... again not first try but considerably easier. It's about letting go at the right time of the stretch bar to fling myself up and right to land on the finish mat. And that's where I end the stream. I'm not doing another control training stage until next time.

Now if I ever get a real life training stage on how to open a fridge, then I'll be truly pissed.