It was now or... later...

Well... it happened. A game... THE game we had been dreading during this series. It finally happened. We got Andy's Apple Farm. Of course I had to be the one to play it too. And of course V had to be the one to run off and do what the fuck ever else while I sat here and tortured myself.

Well jokes on him. I decided not to be alone. I invited a few... girl friends of mine. Monika and Sammy of the Miicord Crew. Hey I needed some company okay? The game goes just how it did in the original version. We're a beta tester of this game and our goal is to find bugs and glitches. You know... just... basic... innocent shit. There's 2 file slots. 1 empty and 1 in progress. And uh... don't select the in progress one. The game gets very sad. So we have to start a new game. Andy meets his friends having a picnic and they want to play some games with him. Pass said games and you get bonus stickers. Get all bonus stickers and you get a prize! What is the prize? Andy's house keys!... how the fuck did they get his keys? Anyways, I figured I'd start with Felix the fish and his... uh... fishing game. Just a soothing round of fishing. Be careful of the boots. That's not to catch. Surprisingly, Felix's game ended relatively normally... other than the music slowing down. I wanted to do Margret next... but the game got very pissy with me. And then I was sent to this very... narrow corridor. And when it disappeared? I do admit the background actually looked quite nice! Just in a very... eerie atmosphere. Well anyways, let's check out Melody's rhythm game. Yeah it's your basic 4 directional rhythm game like Dance Dance Revolution and Friday Night Funkin. The first song is easy. Twinkle Twinkle little star. Childs play. The second song is Melody being so pissed I nailed her first song that she slammed her face into the fucking piano HOLY SHIT CALM DOWN DUDE! Queue me being... somewhere completely else. A dark... foggy forest area with a house at the end. I can peek through the window. Inside, a very... VERY distraught Isabella and her... brother? husband? boy... uh... housemate. Apparently there were some other family members that have disappeared from their lives and she takes the blame all for herself. As much as her mate doesn't want her to feel that way. Maybe I should go in and comf... uh... so breaking news... the house is uh... wrecked now. Oh yeah and the sounds of agonizing screams can be heard too. Pfff I'm sure those aren't really screams and is just a uh... glitch in the... sound card? But hey! I got Melody's bonus sticker!... yaaaaay?

Alright... so now time for Margret's very easy and totally not hard fruit sorting game-I sucked ass. As much as I didn't need to. I mean come on I was sorting fucking apples, cherry's and pears! Oh yeah Margret also like... severely jumpscares you too because she won't give up her fucking sticker. But we do catch back up with... doesn't quite look like Isabella and her mate. Maybe a couple other people who live in the same house. Thomas and his wife. Thomas seems pretty peeved that his wife... who we'll name Barbara doesn't care that their son just died. Yikes. Barbara tries to defend the situation by essentially saying "there's nothing we could've done.". Essentially it all boils down to why the children were out on their own so late. And it's so bad that Barbara just... kicks Thomas out of the house. Damn. She's serious. Oh yeah Margret shows up... fucking... randomly. Alright Claus. Let's nail your game of I-Spy. Yeah it's your easy basic childrens game of I-Spy. Find the apple, the cloud, the small tree, the... axe..., the CEES... and then... we're Claus himself. AND HOLY FUCK ANDY HAS THE AXE FUCKING RUN FASTER CLAUS!... wait no nevermind... it wasn't andy and claus... it's Thomas and Arthur? Apparently Thomas feels Arthur was involved in some... disappearances... as much as Arthur wanted to claim innocence... it was too late. The axe... was swung. But I got that sticker WAHOO! And now I get to claim my keys!... in the dark... scary... empty... barn... nevermind I can get a new house. Oh alright I'll get the fucking keys. Don't have much other choice anyway. Oh and the door closed... with me inside... what great fucking friends. At least in this dark ass barn I do find a lighter. It doesn't work well. But it does let me see my surroundings for a split second. Headed deeper into this barn, I run into Peter the Pumpkin who wants to play tag with me through the haystack maze. Ugh. Now is not the time for games! Alright fine, I'm it. I easily grab Peter and now he's it. I have to find all 10 pump... ooooh... wow... this now looks significantly scarier compared to when I was it. Oh yeah... the more pumpkins you get? The scarier it gets. I am amazed I dodged Peter as much as I did... and as close as I got to him. I sadly... did not get all 10 pumpkins. I probably needed just a couple more.

We see Arthur again... doing... who knows what. With some uh... 7 eyed monster speaking in some... satanic language. But I finally got my keys! Hell yeah! Time to get the hell out of here-who the fuck are these people flashing on my screen. These must be the people who supposedly went missing. And boy are they unhappy. What you're not trying to tell me they're... yeah this is straight up Walden Files shit here. With the final face being whoever the fuck that is horrifying! And to my surprise that's actually where this ends. I'm a little disappointed, I thought there would've been more after this. But I guess the truly new content will come in chapter 2. Yes there will be a chapter 2. A chapter 2 I hope I won't ever play. Because my heart is already malfunctioning. I know there were some secrets in this game. But honestly I just didn't bother. If you want to know those secrets, you can just look them up yourself. Because after this...

I now have a fear of apples... and farms... and... fuck it... people named Andy.