I need the Heimlich Maneuver after this.

Okay for absolute real of all real times this is the last time I participate in the Mario 35 weekly tournaments. As far as I know. I never know anymore. But if this is truly my last one, I go out on a bang with the final week of season 10 of the Mario 35 Continued Interest tournaments!

Let's start this bang with an RTAnotsorandomizer. It's like an RTAandomizer. But the level queue is predetermined. Starting with 5-1. The level of flat grounds and silver pipes. I take my bonus room coins and move on to 2-3. While I do lose my fire, I'm still able to ride down the flag. 6-2 is next. I ride the coin heaven and swim my way through 7-2. Holy hell there are a lot of bloopers. I take a couple roulette spins and hold my breath as I make it to 1-1! My favorite level! I take down Bowser in 8-4. Hell I even get a KO! I'll take it! 2-1 is next. You just can't not die here. And I certainly did not die here. I took the coin heaven here and made my way to the athletic 5-3. Hop, skip, and a jump across the trees as I bounce off a flying Koopa to burn another flying Koopa guarding the next tree all that to fall into the pit and die... well shit. Yeah I could've played that better. Hell I probably could've snuck under the flying Koopa. But sometimes I just don't think you know? I guess I did technically make the top 50% given there were 18 of us playing. And then again, there were 18 of us. Fuck I really miss the days when it was 10 of us. NoTM3 comes out with the match 1 win. Yeah not Joshy I'm shocked too. XD! Speaking of Joshy... Season of Joshy is the next match. Oh goodie. But I guess Joshy loves 1-1 because that's the first level here. Followed by 1-2... this almost feels too easy. I warp to the night skies of 3-1, crush the Hammer Bros and head to the flat lands of 3-2. I actually make it through the athletic trees of 3-3 and not die horribly and burn Bowser in 3-4. 5-1 is still as easy as ever. I take the coral reef of 5-2, fail to get the star powerup later on, bonk my head on the item block, fall into the pit, oh it's going to be a long day. I wasn't made to win that match anyway. Joshy did. It's his season after all. The dreaded Player's Choice is next. Am I ready for this? Well we start with 2-1. Not... 2-2 or 7-2. I am just as shocked as you are. I take my invincibility frames and JUST get past Bowser in 2-4 and... it uh... back to 2-1... huh alrighty then. Oh and NOW it's 2-2. It was only a matter of time. 6-2, my choice is next. I ride the coin heaven, get past the Lakitu's in 6-1 and it's back to 2-1... holy hell a lot of people love 2-1. 1-2 is next. Pretty easy level. I open the mushroom box, bonk on it, die to the goomba-you gotta be fucking kidding me.

Down Under is the next match. Yeah I'm gonna be real down under if I choke here again. Thankfully no such thing happens in 1-1 or 6-2. The Hammers are taken care of in 3-1. Once again I bonk my head on the item block in 1-2. Albeit this time I at least was in mushroom form. But good grief I should not be struggling on this level. It's 1-2 for crying out loud! I warp to 2-1, take the coin heaven and make my way to 7-1. Also known as, I hate this fucking level. Hammers and bullets galore! At least I make it out even with cuts and stitches all over. I get the coins in 4-2 and warp to level 1-1. If I can even get to the pipes and not just fail horribly to jump down the hole. 6-2 and 3-1 are to follow. Those Hammer Bros are a fucking threat. I don't choke horribly in 1-2 and warp to level 2-1. 2-1 is becoming quite a theme tonight. I think at this point the time was going pretty fast and being the panicky guy I am, I pay more attention to the powerup mushroom more than the imitator Goomba in front of me... yeah I'm sure you know how this match ended. Do you know what makes this even more sad? I shit you not... fucking THIRTY SECONDS LATER the match ends. THIRTY FUCKING SECONDS. Oh I am so fucking cursed. And no I don't make the leaderboard. I finished 6th. I really am having a great day as we end on the dreaded RTAndomizer. The real one. We start with a 2-3 fish bridge. It wasn't pretty but I got out of it. To the 3-1 night skies we go and fuck my ass it's 7-1. THANK YOU RTANDOMIZER! So any hope of leaderboard presence is quickly crushed as I have no roulette spins and I take an imitator jumping Koopa foot to the face... so that really is how it ends huh? At least this wasn't Joshy's time to shine either. I guess like me, he struggled with the larger party of players. NoTM3 would be the ultimate weekly victor to end the season. Well I guess now all I can ask is for some silver linings as we head to the Junior Championship. I swim my way through 2-2, jump across the mushroom trees of 4-3, zoom past the staple level 1-1, jump across the green trees of 1-3, ride the coin heaven of 6-2, survive the Lakitu's of 4-2, jump across the trees and survive the Lakitu's of 3-3, die in 2-1 as I take a spiny spike ball up the ass and that ends my run in Super Mario Bros. 35.

Well it's been fun. But if there's one thing I know... I will never fucking ride a Lakitu wave.