Just an innocent relationship until it's not.

An innocent dating simulator huh? May I remind you Doki Doki Literature Club exists? Yep Mr. Wheel gives me MiSide. Cute anime girl huh? Yeah we'll see how cute she really is.

Funny thing we don't even start the game with her. But more a dude who seems to be a lonely nerdy programmer. With a square analog clock... WHY???? WHO USES A SQUARE CLOCK??? I don't know but I think I hate this game already. Alright alright I'll check my phone. Seems like my friend has giveth game to me. And this is where we get introduced to Mita. After giving her my name... which... I guess is VAA... she starts by having me clean up her place. Because she's too damn lazy to do it herself. Day 2, Mita's hungry. Time to make chicken soup because fuck soup in a can. Oh yeah. Worst fucking cutting controls in the world. Then again I guess this is supposed to technically be a mobile game. Well... mobile game in this game. Like this isn't actually a mobile game... are you following along? But I guess I took too long to cut the carrot anyway because it's day 5 now. And now Mita wants a portable TV. With antenna too. Because getting a streaming service for your phone is too damn much. But to get the TV I must play games. Like one about disassembling cartridges. And connecting a wire across a board. All until I can get here a small, portable, cheap, and old ass TV. Day 10, uh oh Mita lost her hair brush. Got to go find i-why can't I look in the oven? What's in there? OH HOW I'M CURIOUS! A chainsaw... I mean... why is Mita so scared that I know she likes buzzing down trees?... that is... what she uses it for... right? Anyways, hair brush was in the kitchen anyway. So it works out. Day 20 wow my guy is really enjoying this app. So Mita broke her TV already. Can't be shocked. Old ass shit breaks fast. Anyways all Mita has me do here is move a wardrobe for her. Day 33, I give Mita a gift. Day 37, the camera zooms in and... now Mita thinks we're together? In person? Hah. That's cu-wheeerrreee the hell am I? This ain't our dude's house. It actually looks more like the house in... the... game... oh... I see what Mita did. She didn't come to me. She made me come to her. No I can't escape. I tried. There's this machine in the bedroom. Apparently I am in an outdated version of the game. Also where is Mita? So when I turn on the machine, I have to put 3 objects on a scanner. What looks to be some bathroom sponge, a pen, and a spoon. And now we're ready to go to version 1.9!... why is the music slowing down?

So there's a portal that opens. Logically, I step into it. And now the house is dark as shit and I am pissing my pants. Flipping a fuse box doesn't really help a whole lot. And now the machine is missing batteries. So it's a hunt now. I find one in the bathroom cupboard. Out the bathroom and oh that's not the bedroom. That's a long ass scary hallway that I don't want to go down yet I do anyway. And out the door is... the kitchen. So we just skipped the bedroom and living room. There's a battery on the counter-did I see a hand out the window? In the living room, there is a battery on the TV stand. And the radio is going off too. I sure as hell didn't turn it on. The last battery I couldn't seem to find. I do install the 3 batteries I did find. But where is the last one? Thankfully it didn't take me that long to find it. It was in the fridge. And said fridge... lost its love. But now with the machine re-energized, I reenter the portal. And now we meet Mita. She's aware that when I first used it, I was put into the wrong version of the game. Before you ask, no I still can't leave in this version of the game. According to Mita, this world is based off of our guys world. For example, his phone is on the table. Albeit he can't have it. Mita just uses it to take a selfie. Checking out her proper flat screen TV... I mean they have channels. Not interesting channels but they are channels. And yes. Mita did just pull orange juice out of the fucking TV. Checking out Mita's bedroom, seems like Mita knows more about our guy because... fuck privacy right? Phones have cameras. They're always watching you. Despite Mita having a school uniform, she doesn't go to school. So where'd she get it from? Oh yeah turns out the portable TV I got her never broke in the first place. It was used for the machine that sent our dude here. Mita explains that I put those specific items, sponge, pen, and spoon on the scanner because apparently those items were tied to this specific version of the game. I don't know how given they're so generic but... sure. In the kitchen, I find a random ring put down there. What Mita doesn't plan on engaging to me does sh-... it's gone and now there's food there. Sure yeah okay. Welp, it's back to carrot chopping. That of which I can actually fucking finish this time... well... for the most part.

I grab some scissors from the bathroom and join Mita for dinner. No I don't take her poisonous sauce for the food. After a brief talk with her, we dig in. Holy fuck Mita is a slow ass eater. So I take care of the dishes and... well it would appear I am having a panic attack and my vision is going glitchy. I just have to trust Mita to help me. She gives me some... random ass pills to help my symptoms. And now... she's... uh... gone... I'm sorry there wasn't a door to the right of the back wall couch in the living room. Apparently Mita rearranged the place all while I was apparently frozen in time. So we head back to the living room... which... has to load now apparently... but once in, I have the choice of playing a console or a card game with her. I start with the console games. 2 games to choose from. Penguin Piles and Dairy Scandal. Penguin Piles is simple. Skate across the ice and collect more snowballs. Yep I own Mita in both rounds. In Dairy Scandal, it's a basic fighting game between... I guess a couple milk cartons. Mita... attempts to play tough. But if you know my Smash skills, just spam buttons until you win. Alright this has been fun but now it's time to go...? I guess not? I mean I can open the door but the outside world is ERRORed out. I guess Mita tried to add an outside world. But failed miserably and just broke the fucking game. So I guess we have to play a card game. Despite Mita's explanation, I don't really understand it. I guess whatever the stat is indicated on the chip, health, attack, or shield, your number for that stat has to be higher than your opponent. Not like I could focus on the game anyway given the fucking banging from the wardrobe. Despite Mita being oblivious, she eventually lets me see... albeit... I think she takes me to the previous version of the game... yeah I don't like this. I'm sorry I ever fucking asked. So I turn off the radio and now I check the kitchen. I don't like that fucking low rumble noise I am hearing. This just went to cute to I am shitting my pants in 2 seconds. I grab a flashlight from the kitchen. Yep it's a horror game. HUZZAH! Oh and cool there's a hanging body just casually in the bathroom. And it rushes at me. Who needs sleep right? And no, I really can't leave. Mita won't let me. Surely going into the bathroom is a good idea.

Mirror breaking with my reflection on it? Cool. Door being pounded? Cooler. Mita wielding a knife in the kitchen? The coolest. Say you know? The game did save here so I think here is a good place to stop. Because I don't know about you, but I love my heart. And I don't feel like having a heart attack just yet. So I'll just let crazy ass Mita be for now and... maybe when I come back...

She won't be a fucking psychopath.