PUPPER!

Yeah that's right. You heard me. There are even MORE Humongous games to check out in The Winter Jackpot! They just don't stop coming even after the Humongous block! This time, I check out a shorter game in Putt-Putt Joins the Parade.

This was one of the more older Putt-Putt games. Released more in the DOS era. Still a fun game though! So Mr. Smile Sun emerges from the ground as the day comes to life. And so does our friend Putt-Putt and his pet do... uh... Pep isn't here? Where is he? He's always with Putt-Putt! Speaking of which, he gets an announcement on his radio that today is the Cartown pet parade! OH BOY! All we have to do is find Pep and we are on our wa... why is Putt-Putt wishing he had a pet? Wait... are you perhaps thinking this is the first ever Putt-Putt game and this game gives us a brief on how he and Pep met? Now I am intrigued... I guess the frog in Putt-Putt's window doesn't count as a pet. More so a fly eater. Speaking of eating, Putt-Putt gets his Tire-O's breakfast cereal and then heads off. On my way to the main town plaza, I run into a cow in the road... well that's random. But when in doubt, use your horn to get its ass to move! I meet with Chief Smokey who sets some guidelines on how Putt-Putt can enter the parade. Including a car wash, which I can get by paying for. But I'm broke as fuck. Thankfully Smokey lends Putt-Putt his lawn mower. Smokey also suggests delivering groceries from Mr. Baldini. And after I am cleaned up, I need a balloon, and a pet. To which Smokey delivers no fucking help on where I can find one. Thanks bub. I hit up the toy store to get my balloon. But of course the last one was JUST sold off to Mrs. Airbag. Con-fucking-venient. I'll be able to find her at the drive in movie theater. After listening to toy animals and their goofy riddles, I get my windshield cleaned free of charge. And Putt-Putt can see again!... huzzah? Even though his eyes are in front of the shield? Alright Baldini, give me your groceries. Along with that, I claim me some free bird seed! I love free shit! So I head up until I hit the colorful fork in the road. I wait for the way to clear before I drive up the green road. A few birds block the way. I do have seed but... you know... when in doubt, use your horn to get their asses to move! I offer the home owners a lawn mow. To which all deny. But I still get my guys groceries delivered for a big, beautiful... one fucking cent. Wowie. The blue road is blocked by marching band mice. Well we all know, when in doubt... yeah honking doesn't do a damn fucking thing here.

The red road is blocked by nails. Don't try to drive over them, you'll regret it horribly. No, I can't pick up any of the honking toys from Putt-Putt's house for the mice. It was worth a shot. So I just go ahead and take my 2 cents for the car wash. Make sure you just do each part of the wash in proper order like I totally didn't do. It goes soap, water, then brush. Don't be like me and try soap then brush. That does nothing. After that, I get dried. And I am a clean car. Hopefully Putt-Putt will get more washes in the future. Apparently he never had one before. Fucking gross. After that, I meet Mrs. Airbag who is distraught that Baby Beep is lost in the Cartown Movies... are we just not sure that Mrs. Airbag is a terrible mother? How does she let her child get lost? Okay lost is a strong word. I drive in the theater and find the little guy in like 3 seconds. In exchange for finding the tiny car, I get the red balloon. Headed to the dirt road in the colorful fork in the road, I drive over a bridge and enter a cave where I find a little pupper! But it doesn't make it easy for me to just let him ride in my seat. I need to offer the guy a treat to make them trust me. So now what? Now where do I go? I can't mow any lawns because the blue road has those damn musical mice. And I can't seem to find fucking jack to help those little squeakers move. I do find a magnet I can use to pick up the nails on the red road. But unfortunately, none of the red street residents want their lawns mowed either. Well shit, I'm just stuck aren't I? Because those fucking mice are blocking the blue str... THEY'RE GONE???? EXCUSE ME? Yeah so apparently those mice can just... disappear. I don't even know what I did. I guess I just... entered the blue street, left it, and re-entered it and... bye bye mice... I guess. So now I can mow some lawns as I play... what almost reminds me of like a bootleg NES lawn mowing game. Clean up every inch. Can't drive over the stone. Also as I mow my first lawn, I randomly find a bone for the pupper. After I get this lawn mowed, I for some reason offer to mow another lawn. Instead of just going back to that cave. And no, you can't leave an unfinished job. Wait so I have to mow this whole lawn too? Fuck! Okay, no fucking around this time. I go straight to the cave and give the pupper their bone.

So Putt-Putt gets the pupper in his back seat and Putt-Putt calls the little guy Pep. So Putt-Putt meets back with Smokey we now have everything we need for the parade. Clean body, Balloon, and a pet! And now what follows is the most... anti-climatic... most... unthrilling looking parade... I mean I guess I get to look at the pets these vehicles are taking? But... I mean there's not even a fucking audience. No one is watching the parade. What there was no one interested in watching cars take their animals? Apparently not. And that's the end of the game. Another very short Humongous experience. I know these older games aren't as long.... 7 bucks for a 30 minute game? Granted I got it for less than 5 during the Winter sale but... fucking still dude.

You better hope all the rest of the vehicles also got cleaned up.