Sega: So very not creative.

Why play a traditional Sonic game when you can play a Sonic RACING game? Now that sounds fun! Heh... I got Sonic Racing: CrossWorlds faster than I got Mario Kart World. How about that?

After a damn fucking amazing opening scene, and so totally not watching the tutorial, source: trust me bro, it was off to the races! AH? GET IT? RACES? HAH I AM SO FUNNY! XD! All I could do for now was play the Grand Prix. 7 Prix's, 3 races in each with a 4th final race too which makes you play a lap of all 3 stages you played. During each prix, I'll have a rival to go against. I mean yeah there's more than just 2 of us racing. Just 1 specific player will be considered my "rival". After picking my character, I go with Wave. Simply because her vehicle stats look the best to me. Though I can modify them if I want. 5 classes I can select. 2 of which locked. Yeah you can't tell me Sega pulled a little "inspiration" especially with that fucking mirrored mode good grief. High Speed, also known as 100cc is the default choice. So that's what I go with. Espio is my rival here in the Donpa Grand Prix. I can also pick a special ability to aid me in my race. An additional 3rd item should do the trick... wait you can hold up to 2 by default. Holy fuck this is Mario Kart. XD! First track, E-Stadium. A very neon vibe for sure! Now while this game feels a shit load like Mario Kart, I will admit it does have some unique mechanics. Like mid-air tricks and rings. Plus a fucking portal that takes you to a whole new track. Like this very casino looking one. Oooh boy we're betting tonight! XD! I end up finishing this race in 2nd overall. Honestly for having never played this? That wasn't too bad! I think I got a good chance here! 2nd track, Rainbow Garden. Oooh boy Rainbow is right. It's very colorful here! I think I'm on drugs. This track also introduces the gliding ability... like... fucking... Mario Kart... oh good grief. The random track portion takes me to like a... highway track? Almost looks kind of like a construction zone too. I actually end up getting into 1st by the end. But then I get fucking smashed by a 1 ton weight and now I am in fucking 7th which is where I finish. That's not fucking fair! I think that ton weight thing is supposed to I guess be the equivalent of a blue shell? Still 3rd overall in the rankings with 2 races left. Water Palace is next. This is where I also pick me a new perk. Double Boost Specialist. Essentially a double mushroom off the gate. Omochao is the equivalent to a coin item. Yeah don't you love the coin item?

This track also has water driving. Your drift boost meter thingy also fills WAY faster when you're on the water. Random track puts us back on the water. But now it's a fucking severe storm seemingly in the middle of the ocean. Oh man that looks fun. After being flattened by another 1 ton weight again, and traversing through the tentacle ridded ship, I get the hell out of there. And this time I stay in 1st. Good bounce back! I move up to 2nd. Silver up by 1. A complete recap of all 3 tracks in this prix. 1st place would also get me 18 points. I make it out of E-Stadium being in 2nd place. Good start! Things get a little chippy at the end of Rainbow Garden. It does look like I make it out still in 2nd. But there's like 4 of us all hunched together. A fucking... MONSTER TRUCK holy fuck that's an item. Plus a couple boosts brings me to a 1st place victory! Sorry Espio. You got beat. Champion is me! Oh yeah this is when I realize this game is also Smash Ultimate. I get Hatsune Miku, Red (Angry Bird), and a bunch of other characters thrown in my face. And a bunch of other shit too. Fuck I had to reveal all these goodies one at a time? There's even MORE characters I can get too! Like Minecraft Steve, Pac-Man, Spongebob, and Mega-Man! Granted I have to pay for them but the options are there if I want to shell out 30 bones. I mean I am making money! It's also here I can just choose who my rival is and even adjust their level. So I can make them the most nooby baby or fucking Kusaan himself. Wisp Grand Prix is next. Metal Harbor is the first track. Or... Sunshine Airport. Random track takes me... oh I see I've been put into a fucking war in space. With a hell of a decked out space station to race across. Did it scream Rainbow Road? Well... yeah. Towards the end, after doing like 20 tricks in the air and then landing, of course Tails is RIGHT there to bump into me. And then one by fucking one... as if all the dudes were just WAITING here for me, I drop to fucking 9th. From 1st. I did finish 7th overall but fuck that pissed me off. Well I need to bounce back in Sand Road. Or uh... Dry Dry Desert. Through the hot sands we go! Random track again and WOAH EVERYTHING IS SUGARY! Cookies, Cakes, a river of... I want to say chocolate but it almost looks more like a strawberry fudge.

I hope desert ghosts don't scare you. Anyways, just a mere 10 feet from the goal and-are you shitting me? I get slapped by a ghost and now all of a sudden EVERYONE cuts in front of me and I finish in fucking SIXTH! WITH INCHES TO GO FROM THE FINISH! Nah fuck this I'm restarting. Yeah thankfully you have the option to restart a race. I like that. Just can't let Tails start running away in this fucking prix. And can't let the game fucking cheat me like this! Thankfully on my 2nd go, I do finish 1st. And Tails is rolling in his grave. Track 3, Coconut... er... sorry... COLORFUL Mall. I'm sorry, I just can't not make Mario Kart references. This time through the portal, it's not a random track. It's a golden temple! The Pharoah's of Egypt didn't cheap away here! Hell even the water track is gold! As for the mall itself, well thankfully I didn't get cheated at the end and finished in 1st! I stand 4 points ahead of Tails. Can I finish it out strong in the final track? Starting back with Metal Harbor, finishing that being in 1st. Nice little bounce back after falling to 5th. Sand Road was a little sloppy. I ended up falling back to 7th. And I finished the lap in 5th. It was up to me to catch up in Colorful Mall. I did end up finishing in 2nd but of fucking course Tails finished 1st. My fucking luck. Which sadly meant I lost by 2 points. Yeah yeah be a little fucking show off Tails. Didn't really have time to redo the whole prix. I'll probably do that another time. You know I am stunned Nintendo's laywers haven't gone after this game.

Once again... we all know it's just Mario Kart with a layer of SEGA paint on it.