SUCK IT JIANJUN!

I am back once again for what is hopefully my final time on my 2nd stint of Wii Party U with master difficulty. I have one and one goal only. Beat... Jianjun.

We start off with Flock Shot. A luck game. So at least no skill is needed here. Just get damn good picture of birds. Good news and bad news. Good news is I did better than Jianjun. Bad news? I tied for first and lost the roll off. At least I got 2nd. Despite rolling 3 1's, I still got 25 overall on my roll. Not too horrible. But of course Jianjun with his 2 dice rolls double 4's... shocking right? We're starting already. Anyways the next minigame is Face Flippers. Given these are... master CPUs... yeah let's just say I did a little going right past the face I needed. Despite missing the first 2, I actually bounced back a little bit and got 3rd. Not great but better than last. Jianjun gets last place boosted before his fucking turn... shocking right? He gets to the 1-3-5 door challenge and... rolls a 6 and advances no further... huh... I mean you can't make EVERYTHING go his way right? I get 19 with my 4 dice which is honestly pretty damn good. But after the round I am chilling in last place. Super Snow Sliders is next. Let's just say I didn't run at Mach fucking speeds like the others did. At least Joost last placed me right to him!... her? I actually don't know its gender. I got boosted and that's all that counts! Jianjun still doesn't get past the 1-3-5 door... that's actually pretty funny. Joana UFOs to me and loses like... I don't know 10 spaces? I roll a 7 and land on a minus 10 space for a profit of... negative 3 spaces. Cool. Water Walkers is next. It's not that hard to bounce on water. I started pretty good. Until I didn't do good. It's like one damn mistake and your run is over. Oh yeah... guess who got first place and rolls a 41 and finally got the 1-3-5 door? Shocking right? Oh and why not? 5 more dice for him for 12 more spaces? okay i admit that was a pretty shit bonus. Joost lands on a 1v3 and gets UFO Zap-Up. To which I actually intentionally get abducted so then Jianjun gets no more bonus dice. Surprisingly, I was actually last to get abducted. That never happens. Anyways when it comes to my regular roll, I got to last place boost myself. I was expecting to get like... +10 or something but surprisingly, I got +30! Huh... alright! I'll take it!

Apple Scramble was the next minigame. I thought here the best way to win it was by staying up top. If you try to just collect the leftovers at the bottom? And on master difficulty? You will get like... 3 apples. And my strategy actually worked! I CRUSHED the competition and got 28! 2nd place Joana only got 15. Plus I did not get hit by any spike balls either! I ended up rolling a 42 plus I got a rocket ride! For a total of SEVENTY-TWO SPOTS! Now here's the shocking thing? The next minigame? Was fucking Face Flippers again! Like come on I just played this! And of course on my 2nd go I was complete ass and got last. At least Jianjun got 3rd so... I can't complain much. XD! Joana would join my space as she also got a rocket ride. As for Jianjun? Poor little loser... boy rolled a 12 with his 4 dice then landed on a negative 5 dice. Big fucking oof. He'd lose 14 spaces with those dice. So not much of a loss but still a loss. But on my roll I also get a negative 5 dice and lose 25 spaces. A-fucking-mazing. Assemble Bots was the next minigame. Time to put the lab coats on boys! I ended up assembling a full blue, full gold, and mixed robot. The mixed as just the nick of time. Which was enough to get me 1st! HUZZAH! I roll a 36 with my dice and even get the green light door opened first try! Nice! Poor Joost rolls 12 with 4 to lose 12 with 5. Joost was in last so they chose Heart Targets as the next minigame. Surprisingly, I actually got 1st here! I was really careful and I don't believe I clicked any not hearts either. I get a 32 with my roll which lands me on nothing. Jianjun with his 30 gets a bonus 5 dice. This game really wants this loser to win. Joost picks the next minigame, Power Prisms. You know me I am a master of Pac-Man so I am a master of this game too! Randomly and funnily enough, on the last set of gems there was a lonely one on the upper left. I thought someone was gonna grab it but for some fucking reason all 3 CPUs decided... oh wait! Let's go back! Like they were right fucking there and they all went away from it for some reason. I mean it didn't matter I won one way or another.

I roll 37 on my turn and land on a 1v3 game. Perilous Pathways the game. Oh boy this won't be rigged at all. No sir. The Mii's totally won't know where my traps are. To no surprise, all 3 get past the first board. Joost would end up falling on the next grid. But Jianjun and Joana would get on the next board. And I just now realize all 3 of my opponents started with J. How about that? Surprisingly, Jianjun and Joana would end up falling on my trap spaces and I would claim victory... huh... this game wasn't rigged? Am I sure I'm playing master difficulty? With my 19 spaces from the 5 dice I have earned, I am now 9 spaces away from the final challenge... you are saying there's a chance. Of course Joost puts on a little pressure as their 23 roll gets them 10 more dice with 37 more spaces. 60 total putting them only 36 away from the final challenge. Oh boy. Jianjun lands on a 1v3. This time I NEED to win it. I don't. We all get knocked out in Punch Deck in 3 seconds. Oh yeah. He targets me first. FUCKER! Oh and guess what minigame Joana chooses? Lap Happy. Guess who won it. Jianjun. Guess who got last? Me. So because Jianjun is a rotten cheater, he gets first crack at the door. Thankfully, he got nowhere fucking close to 40. Joana and Joost were also far enough that they couldn't get to the door. I needed 9 with 2 dice and thank fuck I got 11. If there's a chance... it's now. I take my 10 dice... throw them into the air look at all the high numbers... and see that I got a 43 and won the game... I did it... I won. I won Wii Party U master difficulty for the... well in my 2nd stint. A couple years ago during 1 more week until Christmas event, I did a master difficulty marathon in Wii Party U where I played it over and over for 5 hours. I assume I got at least one win there. So this isn't my 2nd time beating master difficulty. So what do I do now? I just beat this in fucking record time. I had 15 minutes to spare! So... I came up with a stupid idea... Wii Party U lets you choose how many Mii's you go against... so I was like... fuck it. I'll do a 1v1 against Jianjun. I imagined this would go quick because it's a 1v1. And I assumed that 2nd place still gets 7 dice. So we'd be done in like 10 minutes.

I start up and the first minigame is Jumping Target. You know I actually started good. But then fucking Jianjun ran away with it. He rolls 38 and gets a +20 boost for 58 total spaces. Thankfully I was right in which 2nd place still gets 7 dice and not 2. I roll a 33 and also get +20. Balloon Boppers was the next minigame. Somehow I completely whiffed his fucking balloon but he got mine no problem... so it's gonna be like this huh? At least his 30 roll landed on a last place boost which got me UFO'd to him. I'll take it! I rolled 27 with my dice and when it came to the 1-3-5 challenge door, I actually got it 1st try! See Jianjun? That's how it's done! River Rollin' was next and Jianjun had no issue running into all the logs while I casually rolled down the river! My 34 roll lands me of course on a last place boost. I don't UFO him but I give him 30 spaces. Plus his 19 dice roll... which is honestly a shit roll with 7 dice. Star Pupil was the next minigame. And for some reason I decided to throw my stars at everything. I will blame that loss on me just being extremely tired and that my reaction timing was non-existent. Jianjun's 34 gets him 5 more dice for another 19 spaces. My 22 roll also gets me 5 more dice for another 15 spaces. Oh here comes a controversial minigame. Hide-and-Go-Beak. But I guess it really wasn't. After all, I wasn't a hamburger. And I guess Jianjun was... I don't know... sweaty? So Mr. Ostrich pecked him! I roll like 3 ones and yet still get a 32 with my 10 dice. But I do not get the green light door challenge successful. Jianjun does. Of course he does. I get to pick the next minigame since I am technically in last right now. Honestly my choices are shit. But I pick No Goals Barred since I assumed my best chances were there. They weren't. Also what I found fascinating is that Jianjin and I had the same amount of balls we'd have on a 4 player match but there were the same amount of balls total from if it was a 4 player match. So any balls that wouldn't have been ours were just generic white balls. If that makes a lick of sense. Which it probably doesn't. XD!

Jianjun's 37 roll gets him 20 extra spaces. My 28 roll gets me 10 more dice. In the danger zone too with the alternating positive, negative 10 dice spaces. I'd get 35 more spaces on top of my 28! Nice! I'm still in last by like... 2 spaces so I pick countdown crisis. And of course once again I think my luck is good here. It wasn't. I was like... a half second off when I gave the bomb to Jianjun so of course he instantly gives it back and it blows my ass up. Jianjun gets a 40 to put him to the final challenge. But thankfully he does not get the 40 needed to win. I roll 18 with my 7 dice which is piss poor. However it does land me on last place boost... and because I am in last... I get to boost myself 30 which is 10 more than what I need for the final challenge door! Once again, if there's a chance... it's now! I roll the dice... and it's 38! I WIN AGAIN SUCK IT JIANJUN! SUCK IT! Fucker couldn't even beat me in a 1v1.

I think Jianjun finally sucks now.