Talk about getting extremely screwed.

So remember when I said the last time I played this would be my last time? I lied. Turns out I had some extra time on my hands so I got to play in another round of the Mario 35 continued interest tourney!

Let's jump right into it with round 1, Harvest Moon. All black background levels. Starting with 3-2 which is self-explanatory at this point. A level as flat as a pancake with a few pits and item blocks. 6-3 is next. As we all know. I loathe 6-3. No heart. Scary tree level. I really don't like athletic levels in general. They are such a recipe for disaster for me. 3-1 is next. I take care of the hammers and move on to 6-2. Another one of many levels I am familiar with. Though I should start remembering that there is a coin heaven here and stop taking the coral reef. 3-3 is another athletic level. As you know I hate them to death. But I play it carefully and make my way through to the flag. I loop back to 3-2 and smoothly run through it like the level it is. Albeit I lose my flower. Sad. I survived the loop of 3-2 and I survive the loop of 6-3. Same with 3-1 and 6-2. And this time I do take the coin heaven. Miraculously I make it past 3-3 too. Yet another loop in the works. Here's where the Lakitu's come to play. While I make it past 3-2, I don't survive 6-3. Too many laks to deal with and the lowering platform at the end of the level gets too low for me to reach the ground at the end. I finish 6th place and am just short of the leaderboard. Damn. But it's okay. Joshy wins because he is him. XD! Axe and Hammer is the 2nd round... OH GREAT THIS SOUNDS LIKE FUN! I get past 3-1 and level 1-4. Annnd my ride is cut so fucking short because I had no roulette spins and I was surrounded by about 30 trillion Bowser's in 3-4. Cool. An 8th place finish is what I get there. I knew I wasn't going to have fun here in this match and I was still disappointed. Maybe I should start cheating and give myself permanent invincibility... nah I wouldn't do that. At least it didn't take too long for everyone else to get out. It was a harder queue. After all there were a lot of hammers. Poor HappyTimeHarry. He got stuck in the most ass place possible of 6-4. No roulette spins, about 10 Bowsers waiting at the bridge... yeah it was no bueno for him.

Alright... round 3! Player's Choice. Which starts with the dreaded 2-2. Like why in the butt fuck everytime? I chose 1-2 because I had to. That's a more calmer ride. 5-1 is next. Those bullet bills stood no chance against me. And we say hi to Lakitu in 4-1. 6-2 to follow and then 5-3. I jump across the trees and make it to 3-2 nice and flat and a comfy ride in 1-1 follows! 8-1 is next. I've honestly gotten used to 8-1 at this point. It's not really as hard anymore. Unfortunately my good rid ends in 3-3 when apparently jumping is now optional. Why jump off a moving platform when I can just fall off and die? That works wonderfully!... not really. Once again I finish 8th. And Joshy finishes 1st because he is him. Now here's an interesting match 4... Choose your own adventure. So I guess each warp zone let's you determine your fate, 1 pipe leading to hammers, 1 to bowser, 1 to... whatever the fuck... something like that. Now what is my adventure? A death in 8-1, also known as the first fucking level in the queue. You know that one section where there's 2 big gaps with a little 1 block ground piece in the middle? Yeah so there was a plant on that. And then I died. Could I have just hung out and see if I could maybe get another place or so in the match leaderboard? Hah. no why would I? It's a good thing this match lasted another 20 fucking minutes. I definitely would not have lasted that long but good grief dude. I don't think even a real Mario 35 match would've lasted that long. Oh yeah you know that whatever the fuck pipe I mentioned? I think it was Lakitu's because holy shit they were just roaming around every level like it was a damn party. Oh yeah guess who won? You won't be surprised. Anyways on to the final match... the... (sigh) dreaded fucking RTAndomizer. Fan-flipping-tastic. Of course it starts off on 4-1 so right off the bat we say hi to Lakitu. And my ride once again very quickly ends in 5-2. Too many hammers blocking my damn path. And I finish in a piss poor 14th fucking place. Fuck you RTAndomizer.

14 minutes later, the match was over. Joshy was anything but 1st but it didn't matter. He won the week and NoTM3 won the match. I don't know how long I would've survived anyway. Once again Lakitus just ruled the fucking levels late in the game. So alas I do not get on the leaderboard. But I could still get pity points with the Junior Championship this week right? I roll past 2-1, swim past 2-2, jump across 5-3, warp past 1-2, breeze through 1-1, die in 3-3...

Because jumping is fucking optional.