The game of life.

This was a game I was looking forward to. It Takes a War was made by the same dude who made "The Corridor". A short 30 or so minute experience about... walking down a corridor and... pushing a button. And I was very curious to see how this dude would take the comedy and feel of that and incorporate it into a Counter-Strike 1.6 looking game.

Even the title screen alone almost looks like an online game. But there's one thing you should know. This game isn't online at all. It's a fake online game. The game claims to use microphone support. But if you know me, I need no mics. It's almost kind of funny my firewall asked whether I want this game to connect to public or private networks. Almost adds a sense of realism like you think it's online. Getting in I can choose 1 of 3 classes. Assault, Sniper, and Shotgun. I figure I'd go with the AR. Some other players begin to join in. Brian, Conquistador, colch, "Ah, Ron", (had to put that one in quotes because of the comma in their name. XD!), soph33, and me. As expected the chat goes the way any public online game goes. "Maybe we'll be friends". Wish I could talk to these guys. I can't even use voice chat until after my first game. Oh yeah, "OOOOH A GAMER GIRL THIS'LL BE FUN!". My aim is... well... I mean can you blame me? I'm a rookie. But we got the dub and move to round 2. I would focus on killing the enemies. But then I spot a chicken and I just found my new activity. Shooting it and... uh... glows? Angelic music? And... poof gone? Yeah okay sure. Dub there to round 3 and a dub there to round 4. Maybe we're all rookie noobs which is why our opponents are so bad. Don't recall the opponents screaming though. Maybe I never noticed it before. Man we are CRUSHING these noobs. And then I get killed in round 5. XD! But we still won. Round 6 is where the gang starts to get to know each other some more. Like asking their favorite snacks. I mean I guess crushing these bots are so boring that they have to keep each other entertained somehow right? Apparently Conquistador doesn't like cream soda. How dare she? I think it's pretty good. It has a very sweet vanilla taste. Either way, the round is won and we go into round 7. Uh... why is my gun blowing a balloon up? That's... kind of weird but... sure? Round win to round 8! This is the first round we don't win. I mean we don't lose it either. It was a draw. Round 9. Back to winning. I like it! Round 10. uh... wait... that's weird. There's suddenly like a model of a computer desk. Complete with mouse and keyboard and a screen too showing someone's view. Weird but... sure? Sounds like it's Colin's (colch) view.

We get the dub again into round 11. Despite me dying, we still win going into round 12. Poor Colin. I think he's just as nooby as me. Something a... little unusual happens. Maybe it's a connection issue or something. Aaron (Ah, Ron) says it's a bit annoying but then claims he didn't say anything. Even though we heard him say that. Then Colin says he's trying his best and then claims he didn't say that. What is there some weird bug going on with the voice chat? So yeah you remember at the very beginning of the game when it wanted me to test the voice chat? I guess then it was supposed to have echoed my voice into the game. But because I never said anything it just comes out as [BLANK AUDIO]. But pretending I did actually say something, the others call me out on it. Either way we still won and it's round 13. And now the voice chat is getting so buggy it's making others say downright rude things. And it's not like their voice is choppy or coming in and out. No it's smooth and clean. That or maybe the gang is just fucking with each other. Didn't stop us from getting the win. Round 14. Here we go! Poor Aaron. Seems like he was lagging out quite bad. Uh... I'm sorry what is that big ass red looking thing spinning in the sky? This was our first match we outright lost. I mean we still hold a big lead in the series regardless. Round 15 is where shit gets weird. There's no opponents or time on the clock. And my squad has seemed to have disappeared. Other than distinct voices in the distance. There's a random door that wasn't here either. Entering it, I'm not in the game anymore. I'm in... a bedroom? There's a computer that is running the game. Out the window I can see... I don't know if it's my squad or the enemies. Things get back to normal in round 16. Seems like my squad also noticed the door. So it's like we were all technically in different matches? As we play this round, seems like my squad suddenly realizes... they can't quit the game. Even if they wanted to. Like no really they can't quit. They can't even get up from their seat. They are bound to their own fucking computer. Now that is weird. Round 17, I'm flash banged and the door is back. Another bedroom. There's a weird tapping noise I hear but I don't know what it is.

It doesn't take long before I realize there's sticky notes being spread across the room. "Remember to do your work" they say. I can actually shoot the notes but they seem to fight back. Spreading faster and bigger. Round 18, there's an easter egg where if you shoot the TV screen, you get a sliding image of some poor sap who too got cursed by this game. Round 19, suddenly I am transported to a black room with an imagine of what I last saw before I was teleported. Behind me, the door, again. Another room with a laptop. Running the game too. It seems to be playing itself. I can hear my teammates in the distance. Round 20. Colin seems to really not like it when the others play games without him. Like he takes it as such an offense. Round 21, I am shocked these guys are still able to even focus on the game with how much they are shitting on Colin. Round 22, there's... weird... just... pure black models of enemy players. Lifeless... not moving... suddenly I am transported completely. To a very black and white looking house. While I try to traverse this maze I can hear an argument between my teammates. All while I am getting... DM's... from... my Steam friends? Traversing this maze, I can see the profiles of my teammates... online... hours ago... yet... they're talking right now? The others try to put it into Colin's head that he doesn't need to be with the group every single time. I mean yes in the online world you have the right to play with who you want to play with. Colin really does take it as such an offense. Like he feels like his friends don't care about him. And here I am in the background listening to it all. I wonder if these other guys remember I exist in this group. In this world, Colin is just an online friend. Perhaps they never even met with him in real life. But Colin is so convinced that the others are out to get him. To deliberately attack him. To say he's not as valuable as the others. That... it takes a war... to say that they don't want to be friends... It takes... a...... war... then... something... weird happens? We cut to a feed of a beach with... people on crosses and... all of a sudden something changes. Now everyone seems to love each other? No... something's wrong... these... these aren't the real teammates. Nope! I refuse to believe everyone just suddenly loves each other!

After a fucking meteor crashes into the beach, it's round 23. And then my game crash-... there's a knock... on... the door... my door. I reopen the game. I didn't even realize this but the logo has been changed to say "It Takes You". And the 5 openings usually displaying fighters now display my desktop. That is weird. I can get back into the game but my connection is very poor now. Cut to black. I'm in my house. Or... what the game imagines is my house. It's more of a museum. Hung up are pictures of my friends. My Steam friends. Online... ages ago... All while Soph talks to me. That the people we play with are real. We may only hear their voice but behind those voices are real people. Real computers. Real bedrooms. Real... lives... and despite that... your life just isn't the same. You almost have this power to say whatever you can say and not feel guilty about it. That is the internet of modern times. Behind the words. The pixels. They are real people. Some might be nice people. Some might be annoying but don't cause any harm. And some are really out to attack. That is the shit hole we live in today and it's a shame. That people are out there... willing to give themselves an alias so that they can just live your lives as a bully. And believe me, if you are one of them, do realize your actions do have consequences. Lives are valuable here. If you don't like someone, that's fine. But don't go out there to brutally attack someone until they might end up hurting themselves. You're better than that. Seriously.

Round 24. I am transported to yet another bedroom. Soph's room. It tells a story. How she wanted to take a part in a community play but was rejected. And how her hair dryer left a mark on her carpet. And a pill bottle of Sertraline. A medication used to treat depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, panic disorders, etc. A poster of her favorite band is on the wall. All this is made to help Colin understand something. He's not alone. He doesn't know who his teammates really are. Or what they might go through. Is it an excuse to perhaps be a dick? No. It's not. But is it truly intentional? That is the bigger question at play. Colin isn't obligated to stay friends with these people after all. If he feels like he isn't being valued, he has every right to just... leave. But a part of Colin... he wants to stay with them. I get that. As hurt or abandoned as you might feel. It's not easy to leave a friend group. Time and time again you feel like you want to give it a chance. Maybe things will get better but maybe they never do and yet you stay with them because you keep telling yourself that things will still get better. Time and time again it's an endless loop and even if things never get better you always want to believe they do. It's hard to leave. And even if you want to, you'll just end up trying to get back in. What are you supposed to do? Try to find new friends? Meet new people? People you have no idea who they are? It's like a completely different world. You're unfamiliar with the surroundings and you try to look for anything that feels familiar to you. Sure you're playing the same game but is it the same experience if you are not with those you've gotten to know for so long? It doesn't matter if they are the best or the worst at the game. And when all is said and done... will you ever see those new teammates again? Will you consider clicking add friend? Or will you go back... alone in an empty lobby and queue up with more randoms again? You'll find yourself over and over playing with people you've never met. Maybe some don't even have a microphone like me. Thinking to yourself... who are these people? They're new and you don't know them on a deeper level like the friends you once knew. Sure you might stumble across someone you like every now and then. But yet a deep part of you still wants to go back to those you truly loved being with.

It's hard to break up with a group. Even if you don't even know what their face looks like. You still got to know them. What they like and don't like. What they do for a living. Being able to grow a relationship with them. You may not know where they live and yet they still become a part of your life. And when you strip that away... whether you do it or they do it... you feel... empty. Like you lost something meaningful to you. And all these people are are... well... there was once a time they were just simply randoms. People you never met before and yet... you got lucky to meet them. They added you as a friend and you played more and more together and sometimes you feel like they really are right next to you. Online friends, real friends... they mean something to you. And the moment you realize the seat next to you is suddenly empty, you also realize that you yourself feel empty. You didn't just lose something. You lost someone. And again, you may not have ever met this person in real life. But there was still an attachment. You'd once remember the days you felt so excited to get out of bed and get online and find your friends were playing and invite them to your party. The hundreds of hours you'd spend playing with those friends over and over and over. You'd laugh, you'd argue, you'd cry. But these were your people. Your friends. That's why it's so hard to click the "unfriend" button. Even if you feel such a heavy grudge and you hate them so damn much, it's so hard to remove yourself from those you still feel an attachment with. And I really think that is the moral of this game. It's not just about destroying noobs in a Counter-Strike lookalike. It's about being with those you've been with for so long. Which is why Colin loved being with these guys so much. And perhaps the others did enjoy the time they spent with him too. Perhaps Colin didn't really have any real personal friends. Perhaps these online voices were cherished so much to him. Which is why he'd get upset when he wasn't invited to play. And despite his grudge he had against them, he still cared. He cared about his friends. He just wanted to have fun and chat. He didn't want to leave. But for now... he did... game over. That's it. That's the game. Holy fuck what a ride it was. It was comedic but holy fuck was it deep.

At the very end, the servers are shut down permanently. Which believe me... even though it's a fake online game, we know how emotional seeing a game go offline can be. You play the game with the friends you love for so long. You watch as the servers take their final breath and then you are disconnected. Sometimes these games are the only way you got to connect with your friends. You may have never gotten their phone number or their social contact info. The only way you got to play with them was the game itself. And realizing the servers are shutdown, you click your friends list only to see a circle. Spinning indefinitely until perhaps it gives you an error code. It clicks that you just lost those you loved spending time with. You just lost a game you loved playing. It's hard to find a new game to play. No matter how similar they may be. Some people do truly dedicate their lives to the game they love. Some games are how people truly form relationships with one another. It's a very... magical thing. As short as It Takes a War was, it was so fucking good. Shit I almost wish there was a real online mode in this game. Sure yes then you'd have to invest in servers. But how could would that be? I mean yes you could get something like Counter-Strike 1.6... like I did... yes... I did really cough up 10 bucks for the original Counter-Strike. Hell I might even play it... even if I do suck ass... you know... after all 43 minutes of playing this game... there was one thing I realized...

I never got to click the invite friends button. FUCK!