We dey!

The Detroit Lions travel to Cincinnati to take on a no Burrow Bengals team. After seeing the Bengals being crushed by both Denver and Minnesota, I imagined this would be a no sweat game as well.

Detroit gets the ball first with a kickoff return to the 42. So right off the bat with good field! And yeah as per expected Cincy's defense is heavily asleep as Goff and that offense just takes big chunk after big chunk and Goff would ultimately connect with LaPorta for the touchdown! Bates with the extra point and we're not screwing around it's 7 to zip Lions! Would Cincy respond? Uh... no. Even with an unnecessary roughness call on Detroit putting Cincy on the Lions 38 and in potential scoring range, a false start call would back them up to the 43 and could not convert on 3rd and 15. I guess the Bengals didn't trust their kicker enough to make a 60 or 61 yard field goal so they just decided to punt. Detroit once again just running down the fucking field. 14 yards to LaPorta. 16 to St. Brown. Goff fumbles wait what? So Goff knew he was in trouble as Hendrickson also known as the Bengals only defensive guy was coming after him and you can tell Goff was just trying to get rid of the ball. And at first it seemed like it was incomplete pass which was my thought. But after a replay it showed that the ball wasn't moving forward by the time it was knocked out and sadly it was Bengals ball. Well shit that sucks. At least Cincy goes 3 and out on their drive so it's like no harm no foul. Though an illegal block call would put us on our own 10 yard line. Hey we had drives in Baltimore that started us on our own fucking 2 yard line and we scored a touchdown! However that wouldn't be the case here as despite the drive starting good, Montgomery would run for a loss of 2, Goff throws an incomplete pass, then he gets sacked, and Detroit has to punt. Well shit that sucks. So Cincy gets the ball back and Jake Browning throws an interception on the first play of the drive. XD! Alrighty then! So what was that... 20 seconds of rest for the Lions offense? Lions capitalize off the takeaway and Montgomery is suddenly a quarterback now and throws a clean pass to Brock Wright for the touchdown! Yeah seems to me that John Morton knows all about trick plays just as much as Ben Johnson did. Cincy on their next drive would start to get moving down the field but they started at their own 19 yard line so they had a ways to go. Where did they go? Back to their fucking punter!

Lions still couldn't get a damn drive going. Sure they got a 16 yard pass to St. Brown but after that, they couldn't convert later on a 3rd and short and they punt the ball away. Deep at the Bengals own 5 is where they start and AIDEN HUTCHINSON SACKS BROWNING IN THE END ZONE IT'S A SAF...holding on arnold and the safety is taken away. Yeah so when is Terrion Arnold being cut again? So sadly the 2 points get taken away from us. But it doesn't matter. Browning can't throw the ball to save his life and when his throw is complete... it's complete to Kerby Joseph for the interception! Unfortunately despite starting at the Bengals 45, our offense continues to go limp and we have to punt the ball. With minutes left in the 2nd quarter and CIncy starting at their own 8 yard line, our defense suddenly goes limp. Especially with a big 25 yard pass from Browning to Iosivas. And they would continue to march down the field for the remainder of the time. At least we got the best case in which Cincy settled for a field goal to end the half. So we were still up by 11. Say how does an Anzalone interception sound to start the 2nd half? And perhaps then our first second half drive starting at the Bengals 28 which then leads to a 20 yard touchdown pass for Gibbs? 21-3 lead? I am liking this more and more! Bengals go 3 and out on their next drive... I don't think whatever the Bengals discussed in the locker room is working. So the Lions get the ball back once again and let's just say fuck you to the Bengals defense and start with a 39 yard pass for LaPorta! Just shove some middle fingers up their ass. Montgomery is able to use his legs again and get a big 19 yard run. 1st and Goal at the Bengals 8. Handoff to Montgomery for no gain. Alright fuck it let's do it again. Handoff to Montgomery for the 8 yard touchdown. That's a lot better! 28 to 3!... oh fuck it's 28 to 3. Uh oh. So now the 28-3 curse begins as Almost 40 minutes into the game, Cincinnati would finally get a touchdown to make it 28-10. Hey... it's alright. We're gonna get the ball back, we're going to run down the fi-no we're not. Gibbs will get a false start, Goff gets sacked, and we don't convert on 3rd and 13. No matter, our defense will warm right back up and fuck my ass Ja'Marr Chase is wide open for a 64 yard touchdown and it's an 11 point game. LET'S NOT MAKE THIS GAME INTERESTING HERE!

Let's have a good drive here. How about 26 yards to St. Brown? Yeah hat's a start! Cincy's defense is once again weak and all we do is push and shove our way through this defense until holy shit Isaac TeSlaa used both fucking hands. I didn't think that was possible! Now all we need is our defense to... you know what? Maybe both defenses are tired at this point. I mean there's only 3 minutes left in the 4th when it becomes a 35-24 game after Tee Higgins gets a touchdown. Cincy of course goes for the onside kick which fails fucking horribly. Let's just end the game here. Or not. 2 runs for 5 yards total and then Goff is sacked for a loss of 9. Jake Bates does not take a 61 yard field goal and the Lions don't go for it. Granted it's 4th and 14. Does it matter? No of course it fucking doesn't Browning is taken down in the end zone and we get a safety for fucking real! Bengals take the free kick, recovered by Detroit, and Goff takes some knees to end the game. Final score 37-24 Lions. Now look... yes it wasn't a pretty 4th quarter. Lions were outscored 21-9 in the 4th. But look at this way. The Lions outscored Cincy 28-3 in the first 3 quarters. So call it what you will. The Lions did what they needed to do to win the game. Doesn't matter how you get there. All that matters is that you win the game. Now yes I can see your argument. Oh the Lions played the Bears, Browns, and Bengals. And to that I say... well yeah of course they did. What do you think good teams are supposed to lose to bad teams? What I mean it's not like the Packers lost to the Browns... oh wait... they did. XD! Plus the Lions beat the Ravens in Baltimore in Week 3! Granted even if the Ravens were allegedly beat up. Just enjoy the ride as it is. And the Lions have 2 huge games coming up against the Chiefs and Buccaneers. Hell honestly I'm more nervous about the Buccaneers game than I am about the Chiefs game.

Plus Jared Goff is undefeated against Patrick Mahomes. So there's that for you!